just got home 30 mins ago. why? had a make-up class for evidence. it was supposed to end by 830pm but i knew that prof avena wont end by that time. but i didnt expect that she would extend til 11pm! i thought maybe 1030 at the most. if some of us didnt complain, she would have continued the class. i wouldnt mind if there werent classes the following day or that we dont commute. but probably all of us have classes the following day and most likely, im not the only one thats going to commute. its 11pm! its hard to catch a jeepney ride by this time! im fortunate that my residence isnt that far but how about the others who live much further. that, to me, is just plain inconsiderate. but then again, thats never been a problem to her, i suppose.

another thing that made it worse was that it started at around 5pm. so we had class from 5pm to 11pm. and my block had a class since 2pm (so we had class for 9 hours straight). there was, i think a total of 1 hour and 5 minutes as break between classes. 30 mins between the nego and evidence class (4:30pm-5pm) and another 35 mins as another break during the (6:45pm-7:20pm) evidence class. last meal i had before i got home, which was almost midnight, was during lunchtime, at around 12:30pm. holy crap. i was starving the entire evidence class. and i was called to recite. how lucky of me. not only am i reciting, im also going to miss the lunar eclipse (wanted to see it, not sure if it was cloudy to ruin the opportunity to see it because i was indoors since 10am-11pm). and since we ended at 11pm, i wasnt able to return the videos i rented. wow, its already overdue today. wonder how much ill pay tomorrow.

it wasnt all bad of course. i learned that the mindmap is not due this saturday. so thank God for that. i could have started it if my monitor didnt break down last saturday. also, the evidence midterms might be moved next week. ok, is that really good? well, yes and no. yes because it will give us more time to prepare. no because it would again affect whats been scheduled!

also, i learned i think last thursday that i might not have a blood illness. good news? not really. i may not be sick but it was also added that my blood isnt normal. well, my blood isnt the average blood. its abnormal compared to other people but it might be normal with regard to me. its like, the natural state of my blood is its abnormal state. wow, its like saying, you dont have cancer. its just so happens that its normal for you to have cancer cells. thats the way i see it.

as of today, bayantel's connection is ok. its fast and not intermittent. i just hope it stays that way. and my cellphone's still not fixed. but even if thats the case, people still text me. i havent replied for weeks! and if i did reply, i use another person's number. my phone's more of a high tech pager or beeper. its got a lot more text and more functions but like a pager or beeper, i really cant use it to reply to the message. dont know when ill be able to have my phone fixed. im getting used to its broken state. maybe there will come a time when i dont feel like having a cellphone anymore. ok, not really. the only time i wont have my cellphone with me completely is when ive decided to become a hermit (which isnt very improbable)

had my PC monitor fixed today. i was right, it was the monitor. its a bit obvious but im a skeptic so that explains why i had to make sure if it really was the monitor. first checked at SM north for computer repair shops because i cant think of any shop in our area. computer repair shops near our area usually close down after a few months or a year or two. well, there was one and they said it would take 3-5 days. they have a lot of pending repairs and only one guy in their staff fixes PC monitors. i even saw another PC monitor of the same brand and model (samsung syncmaster 591s) in the repair shop. wasnt able to ask what was wrong with that one. anyway, it was too long (the 3-5 days before having it repaired and claimed) so we decided to look for another repair shop. and since they are the only repair shop that fixes PC monitors, we had to look somewhere aside from the mall. so we went to kamias, the same road where we had our TV fixed. well, we should have went there first before heading for the mall since there was a repair shop which wasnt only nearer our place but also much cheaper (the one at the mall had a diagnostic fee of P600, based from their posters. the one in kamias only costs P500 total). so i finally had it repaired there. it took more or less 3 hours (which is much faster than 3-5 days). i also saw another PC monitor of the same brand and model as mine. that made me think, is there something wrong with this PC monitor model? why do i keep seeing it in repair shops? the same exact model as mine. so i asked whats wrong with that monitor and they said it was for sale. and apparently its second hand. and then i just read from OJ's bulletin board in friendster that a person he knows is selling her PC. and that PC has the same monitor i have, Samsung SyncMaster 591s. its like, in one day, ive encountered monitors of the same brand and model three times. 2 in the repair shop and one for sale. so is there something wrong with this model? i dont know. ive had this monitor for three years and it never gave me a single problem. it never acted funny and never broke down until last saturday afternoon. after having it fixed, it seems ok again. it just depends how long this one will stay fixed. so far, its been an ok PC monitor. but compared to my old generic monitor which lasted 5 years (at least before having it repaired, total of 6 years of usage), if this samsung monitor breaks down again soon, then it only means its not durable. and durability matters for me when it comes to PC monitors. i think.

no improvement on the PC monitor. ok, that sucked. while leaving the PC running, i did some studying and so far, im satisfied with my progress. but that doesnt mean its enough to be prepared for this coming week. i need to find some time to start reviewing for my midterm exam this coming saturday. and i also have to find out how the hell i can do my mindmap! with a broken PC monitor, i doubt i would be able to do it using only 1/4 of the screen. sure, i can still check my emails, probably use ms word and do some internet related stuff, but making a mind map? it might be possible but would slow me down. maybe slow enough that im better off doing it manually. actually, doing it manually is faster. its more of tiring because you have to do it again to make it look presentable. anyway, ill worry about the mindmap later. im feeling a bit dizzy at the moment. there's something wrong or well, something different with the screen. its making my eye hurt the longer i look at it and making me nauseous.

weird thing about this broken monitor is that, im not only posting a lot of blog entries despite the defective state of my PC, im posting long entries too. its like im trying to use it as much as i can before it finally breaks down to the point i cant use my PC anymore. i mean, im even thinking of reasons just to keep my PC running (like checking how long the monitor will stay fixed, will it revert to its fixed state in some kind of pattern, etc. so far it only stayed fixed for a short time and only on two instances).

and bayantels connection just got disconnected. i will have to copy and paste this entry before i lose all that i just wrote. what a nice weekend im having.

my screen is back to its old broken state again. do i need to buy a new monitor? i think this can be repaired but the question is which is more costly, buy a new one which could last longer or have it repaired but wont guarantee how long it will stay fixed? this monitor's been only 3 years old, when it comes to usage of course. my monitor before this one lasted six years! well, it broke down after five years but the repair done made it last for another year, so six years total. and this one has a better brand. i think. its a samsung monitor. not sure if this is a good brand when it comes to PC monitors. my DVD drive is a samsung and its better than my generic cd drive. but my cd drive is still ok. so in terms of durability, the generic cd drive is doing ok. and so was my old PC monitor. sure the samsung monitor is slightly better but now that it has broken down (i am convinced at the moment that its the PC monitor thats acting funny and not the CPU), the sort of generic monitor i had before is more durable and might have been better. problem with generic products is that, you really cant be assured youll find them again after some time. i havent seen my old monitor being sold in stores for years! to have it repaired or not to have it repaired is the question. most likely, repair is the best option at the moment. buying a new one is just expensive. buying a second-hand monitor is just similar to having it repaired. crap. i just dont know what to do with this. its like a hardware defect on the printer. i wont be able to fix it with some troubleshooting stuff or re-installing something. anyway, im still going to keep the PC running and see what happens next.

my PC monitor is fixed! at the moment. this happened too last night. when it only showed 1/4 of the screen last night, i still continued the things i was doing in my PC (updating the media library, downloading some stuff). just shows how much of an addict i am. wont stop using my PC even if i dont see the entire screen. going to use it as long as i possibly can regardless of the circumstances. well, last night, the screen went back to normal for a few minutes. so i thought the problem was resource related. but minutes later, it broke down again. started closing some applications and it didnt help. restarted it for a couple of times and still no luck. thats why i finally concluded that it might be the PC monitor. a few minutes ago i thought, it might be video card related. i wanted to make sure what the problem was or at least consider all the possibilities i can think of. so i started looking at the monitor properties to see if it was working properly. it said the device was working properly. but of course that doesnt rule out that the monitor is busted. i think the device is working properly refers to non-hardware defects. so i looked at the troubleshooting portion and read all related topics. none of it refers to my current problem. and after a few minutes, i finally closed the troubleshooting window and as i clicked to close it, the PC screen went back to normal. but i havent resized it back to its normal size. im a skeptic. i still doubt whether the PC monitor (so far, it seems its really the PC monitor thats the root of the problem, i cant think of other possible problems not related to the PC monitor) is actually fixed. so im still going to let the PC run (i didnt switch it off when i posted my last blog entry, i used the PC as a cd player for a while to see if the screen will go back to normal, which it did!) to see how long this will take. so im monitoring my monitor.

and bayantel's connection is still intermittent. a technician was said to have dropped by. i wasnt there because i was in UP. they said it was ok but nothing has changed. well, the modem's better. so far. havent checked because the monitor got busted. so how can i fully check whether the connection is ok? and my cellphone's still broken. everytime i receive a text message, i have to restart the phone just to read it. and whenever i went out lately, it started to rain. but thats not really an unfortunate thing. not much. i have a midterm exam on september 1. and i also have to submit another mindmap on september 1. how can i do that with a busted monitor? i cant be said to be procrastinating because i just learned the deadline just last week and of course, i cant really work on it right away. so my plan was to do it a week before. and today or yesterday was a week before. and i cant do it any time soon with this monitor! might just go manual on the mindmap.

out of sheer persistence, i was able to write this blog. my PC monitor is busted. not much of a surprise there. the PC usually crashes (and other PC related problems) in august. this time, its the monitor. i think this is the second time i had PC monitor problems (if i recall correctly, back in august 2004 my old PC monitor broke down). this time, im only seeing less than 1/4 of the screen. so i had to use the resizing options of the monitor to at least see half of it. good thing i can see the lower half because thats the more important part (start menu, taskbar, etc). so now, im blogging, checking my emails and using my PC seeing only the lower half of the PC screen. and its not even the normal size of the lower half. i had to reduce it to the smallest screen size possible to see more the PC screen. and like i said, i can only see the lower half.

how did it happen and when? well, i was updating my media library last night. i left the PC for a while and watched TV. not more than 5 minutes later, when i looked again at the PC screen, it was already reduced to 1/4 of its size and i can only see 1/4 of the normal screen. so it didnt reduce its size, it just didnt show 3/4 of the screen. so i asked, what the crap is happening? i studied the screen and saw that the CPU is ok. its running its operations without any problems. tried to do some clicking here and there and there werent any problems whatsoever (its not slowing down, there werent any weird reactions from the programs i was running). so i figured, it must be the monitor. if it were some sort of malicious program, i thought it would affect the way the PC was controlled but i did not. everything was running ok. so there. and only this morning did i come up with trying to resize the screen so i can see more (because last night i just relied on my familiarity with my PC screen, guessing where to click and which keys to press).

i still have a week to go.

i post often and dont read it after i post. i dont even edit it while i write it! shit. how many grammatical errors have i made?

got called yesterday. twice! first for nego. wow, three times in a row. got called for three consecutive classes. at least im not the only one. there's a bunch of us who got called three times in the last three meetings. anyway, at least the third recitation is an improvement from the first two. it still sucked though. crap. i also got called in evidence class. well, this answered the question whether thursday was judgment day or not (and i checked that post and i said, what the? wrong grammar! i said, "i'll found out". how could i commit such a mistake? i was thinking what sentence i was trying to make and then made a mid-sentence change so that i could have the erroneous sentence? its just unforgiveable. i better edit that). so i got called in evidence and i barely talked for more than 5 minutes. i was told to sit down of course. i was only half-prepared. its hard to be fully prepared for it. but thats no excuse of course. better do something about it. and i better read what i post!

ok, bayantels connection is better. seems like its back to its usual speed. and its no longer intermittent. i hope this keeps up. are they monitoring this blog? i wasnt able to make the report last night (paranoia kicking in. wasnt able to sleep well, i remember looking at my cellphone clock and its already 4:20am!). anyway, im not feeling well. but i have to go to class. i wont make it for my succession class but i can still attend my make-up tax law class. i have a clogged nose (very clogged) and im really not feeling well. not sure if my eyes are puffy or red but they feel like it. why cant i be sick during the suspended class days? because of august? i dont know. usually, its a series of unfortunate events and not isolated unfortunate events. the sucky recits are weeks apart. the cold isnt related to it by a long shot. i mean, august usually brings successive unfortunate stuff to the point a single day is filled with bad luck (like a sequence of bad luck lurking in every corner) or a week is just the worst week of the year. well, theres still more than a week left so this might be it. the cold, the blood result (which shows that im back to the abnormal levels again which means no alcohol, no coffee, no sleepless nights, more water intake. ok, im in law school and my classes go from 1pm to at least 6pm straight, sometimes up to 730pm), the sucky recit. whats next? well, at least bayantels internet connection is better.
besides the level of unfortunate events arent really the usual unfortunate events that august used to bring. august usually brings bad luck that could drive a person mad.

my headaches. stupid blood illness. i have a clogged nose. stupid cold.

how many times do i have to call bayantel's customer service to have my internet connection fixed? its been months now. if the company is having problems, they better tell the customers now because its really irritating to have to call them from time to time. its hard to follow-up the internet connection problem reports because im not always at home and i have things to do. all i ask is that when we use the PC and use the internet service, we get what we pay for. sure the service started ok. it had problems during the time when the earthquake happened early this year. the internet service was restored weeks later. but i think starting last May, the internet connection became intermittent. it was tolerable at first, and i thought this might be some temporary thing. well it wasnt temporary and over time, it was no longer tolerable. i called so many times already and they've tried different stuff in fixing it. they've even sent two technicians. there's also fixing the connection through phone which is the usual way and i dont quite like it. they just give me instructions on what to do and monitor if it fixed the problem and call them again if the problem persists. but none of them worked, and thats why i keep calling them again and again. and now, the connection is so slow. my dial-up modem might be just a little bit faster. im not techie enough to know whats wrong thats why i call-up bayantel for help. but so far, they havent really done anything for months now. the only fault on my part is that i dont follow-up quickly thats why its taken months (sometimes it takes me a week to do the follow-up report). how can i? ive got stuff to do. and now im calling their customer service again and the line is busy. nice. so i dialled it again and again until i got tired. so dont tell me i didnt try hard enough.

ive been told before i got the DSL service that bayantel was already having company problems (serious company problems) but i decided to apply for their internet service anyway because it still seemed like a good deal. i didnt regret it at first because the internet connection was good, and the customer service was also good (so i dont know why bayantel would have company problems with this kind of service). now its not hard to believe that there might be something wrong with bayantel.

no PIL, got called to recite during nego class, which sucked a lot. dont know what the crap is wrong with me. the studying is not paying off! ive read nego, transpo, evidence and succession in advance. thats 2/3 of the my subject this semester! im reading in advance! well, reading is not really the same as studying. retention is a major factor that i have to work on. then there's retrieval which is easy if theres something to retrieve. and i wasnt called for evidence class making me the last person not yet called to recite for the dreaded evidence class. will judgment day come on thursday? ill find out on thursday.

im sick! caught the cold again. this sucks. been having headaches for hours now, especially when im trying to study. dont know how i got it. im always indoors when it rained and when i go outside, the rain stops. no one at home has a cold. although i sensed i was going to have a cold, im just a bit puzzled how i got it. i just hate it. i have a clogged nose and im not feeling well. and the classes finally resume tomorrow after almost a week of no classes due to suspensions. except for today which is due to the holiday economics law which made ninoy aquino day a monday.

getting frustrated. ive been trying to figure out a song i would like to get a copy of. its a song from the late 90s by a band. thats the problem. i dont know the name of the band and i dont know the name of the song. all i know is how it sounds like. how the hell can i search for it when all i know is how it sounds like? if i knew some of its lyrics, i could search for it on google. i also know how the video looks like. and that too doesnt help. the music video is set in a room, where the band is performing and there's a moth or butterfly (more like a moth) with them. and i think there are slow motion parts and the moth resting on the microphone. its not silverchair and not silverfish. but those are the bands that come to mind and i dont know why. the music they play is somehow close to swirl 360.

so what happened today? well, its raining and it rained most of the day. i had my blood checked this morning, also had an urinalysis as suggested by a doctor, and had my haircut. and when i went out, the rain stopped. the moment i got to the clinic where i will have my blood test and urinalysis, thats when the rain started again. whenever im indoors, it rained. i sort of wanted to walk in the rain. anyway, as suspected, my blood level isnt good again. it could be the possibility for the dizziness and mild headaches. as for my sore throat, still sore. not sure if im going to have a cold or not. this is the second day of this irritating sore throat. and this is the fourth day i havent touched my books or readings. better pick them up again and not waste all these free time. i would like to have another cup of coffee. never had one since the classes were suspended.

also watched 300 and Ghost Rider on video. its not as enjoyable as watching them in cinemas. maybe its better to watch movies on video which i havent seen in cinemas. makes sense huh? but why do we watch movies weve seen in cinemas on cable and it doesnt feel crappy? maybe not just in the mood. but i think there is something different. there was something different when i watched 50 First Dates on HBO.

all it takes is a second. a second! a second of losing electrical power and the PC shuts down and starts all over again! good thing opera and firefox have "restore last session" functions. but thats only minor stuff. that split second could damage your hard drive! actually, i think it does but you dont see it until you get several seconds of abrupt switching on and off have happened. why cant it just rain without affecting the power lines or the power itself. i think its more of the power lines or the thunder. shit. better switch the PC off. the thunder's getting louder and louder. might interrupt the power and i have to undergo that error check again

just stayed at home today. classes were suspended after all. what else could i do? just watched tv all day. im having them dizzy spells again. better have my blood checked. started getting dizzy again a few days ago and its becoming more frequent. my throat hurts too. might be a cold coming up. since the classes were suspended, ive really done nothing. three days wasted. that sucks.

this is the third day classes are suspended. im not sure if august is proving itself to be a fortunate month or not. to most people, it seems its a good thing to have these suspensions. for me, its not. just when im starting to enjoy going to school and studying, these suspensions start happening. its disrupting my study habit! what the? is it a sign i should just go back to my old ways of just not caring about my studies? because i cant study at home, im more productive studying in the library. but then again, i might be viewing the situation in a very narrow sense. these suspensions might be forcing me to like studying at home. thats one way of seeing it. anyway, all i did today, the second day classes were suspended was just watch Heroes episodes. yesterday, i watched Transformers episodes 

bayantel hasnt fixed the connection problem. its till intermittent and im getting tired of reporting it.

who would have thought that i would find suspension of classes as something depressing. i just dont like getting stuck at home. if this happened last semester, i would have found the suspension as good news. i dont know. ive changed i guess. or, i really just hate it here.

aug 13: had succession? no. just had tax law last monday. i thought i was going to be late for my succession class and it was going to be the first time i was going to be late for the subject this semester. but that didnt happen because we didnt have succession for that day and i didnt receive the text message announcing it. so i only had tax law for monday

aug 14: only had PIL and evidece. still no nego class. PIL was ok and after the evidence class, i was the only one left not called in class. so, most likely, the next person to be called with me. its not an inevitability yet that i will be called next meeting. its just highly probable.

aug 15: which is today. classes were suspended. how nice. i was going to study and head again to the mall. last monday, i ate at tokyo tokyo again and then studied at starbucks sm north. same routine for tuesday but this time, instead of starbucks, i went to some other coffee shop located at the block. i also watched wind chill on video since im stuck at home. good thing i rented a video the day before. it was nice to watch emily blunt again.

recap! another one of them entries where i trace the things i did for the week. lets do this backwards.

saturday, which is today. just went to the library to study. im glad im still able to sustain the habit of studying. not sure if its paying off but im still happy that i feel im getting something done and that im developing a good study habit.

yesterday, friday, august 10. very difficult day. it started with me going to UP to go to my 9am succession class. while waiting for the class to start, i reviewed for my negotiable instruments law midterms. when the class ended, went to shopping center to buy a brown envelope for the mind map that i was going to submit before 5pm at the office of the college secretary. also took a quick meal at kha's restaurant because i was going to do some serious studying for the next few hours. after that, went to the library to study, read the reviewer again and memorized some provisions. by 4pm, went to the law center to take the midterm exam. after the exam, went to SM north to eat some dinner. why there? had some tokyo tokyo coupons. might as well use them. and when i was heading home, the jeep i was riding was threatened by a man with a gun riding a honda civic (i think it was a civic). why? the jeep refused to let the car overtake us. so with the help of another vehicle (convoy most likely), the other vehicle blocked us and the civic ran on the jeep's side and the when the windows were down, a hand with a gun emerged and half-pointed to the jeepney driver. that was just around 830pm. it made my blood boil for a few seconds because that was uncalled for. its like some sort of abuse of power. it created a bit of a buzz for a few minutes among the passengers. anyway, after that, got home.

thursday: classes were suspended. and instead of having a break from the stressful week or using it to study for nego, i did my mindmap for PIL which was due the same day as the nego midterms. i was supposed to do it earlier but brownout occured (ok, blame the fortituous event). anyway, thats what i did the entire day, just do the mindmap

wednesday: attended my succession class and then went to SM north to study. i was accompanied by jump. we ate at cabalen with their eat all you can merienda. it was worth it, for only P106 (vat inclusive), i was able to eat more than i could possibly get from the coupons i have of tokyo tokyo. and i was so full that i didnt feel that irritating feeling of hunger until lunch time the following day. after cabalen, went to one of the coffee shops in the mall to study for nego.

tuesday: only had one class for the day: evidence. we didnt have PIL and there was no nego class for the week so we could study for the friday midterms. submitted the PIL paper earlier since there was nothing posted on the PIL blog site where we can post our papers. evidence was difficult as usual and im still not yet called to recite. it seems there's only two of us in class that hasnt been called and that worries me because my blockmate pointed out that i might get called on the difficult topics.

monday: had succession and tax. nothing out of the ordinary. after class, went to the mall to study. i went to one of the coffee shops there and read my PIL reading on which we will make a reaction paper. also went to tokyo tokyo to use my coupons.

sunday: my brother took the UPCAT. i hope he passes. spent the entire morning in UP because we didnt just drop off my brother at NIGS but we waited til he finished the exam. dont recall much what i did on sunday afternoon.

saturday: did some studying at home since UP was closed or the libraries were closed due to the UPCAT

friday: classes were suspended for the voter registration thing

also, tueday night: brownout which lasted til wednesday, i was told electricity was restored around lunch time. and its been raining non-stop for, i think, 3 consecutive days if not 4. from monday to wednesday for sure because it wasnt raining when my brother took the UPCAT and the rain was strong when we were eating at cabalen. it was raining when i looked out the window during my tax law class and i got wet when i went home tueday night.

forgot to post this. exactly a week ago, i was ambushed by koreans! well, im exaggerating. i rode a philcoa jeepney where the passengers were 80% korean. the korean guy sitting next to me started talking to me when we were near the oblation. he asked for my name, email and number. gave it of course. i wasnt really that alert since it was 830 in the morning and i got home the night before around 11pm. i wasnt in the mood to think of excuses or argue. besides i have an email address thats allocated for such a purpose, meaning, giving it to strangers. as for the cellphone number and name, i didnt think they were the type that would pester me. anyway, gave it with no questions asked. i was thinking, they might be students or something that might need a tutor and i know someone who could help them. anyway, when we reached vinzons hall, i learned they were korean christian missionaries because they started discussing Jesus and gave me a booklet about some kind of christianity. nice. its early in the morning and these koreans want to preach. anyway, when i got off malcolm hall, i never heard from them again. they probably saw my cellphone number which has the number of the Antichrist and that if they try to contact me, they might be preaching to the wrong guy

first day of august went well. second day didnt, which was yesterday. got called to recite for nego but wasnt able to answer. instant singko! that sucked. of the three subjects for the day (PIL, Nego, Evidence), i was most prepared for nego! ive read the case on which i was called to recite but well, shit happens. mental block! i dont recall a single detail about the case! it happened before but not as bad as what happened yesterday. the professor sort of helped me remember the case by giving hints but i just cant follow. felt bad of course. after studying all of it and i get a singko out of it. thats august for me. but i think this happened too last semester but like i said, i think last semester's failed recitation was better because at least i wasnt as stunned as yesterday. i think it was also my fault why i had mental block or why my mind went blank on that particular case. i was reading the wrong cases before i was called. i was refreshing the next two cases which was going to be discussed. or so i thought. thats why when i got called, my mind was too focused on the supposed next two cases that when i was called for the case, i cant easily retrieve what the case was about. not that this only happens in august but i the fact that its august, such a thing wont surprise me or bother me as much 

its august 1. nothing out of the ordinary happened. thats fortunate. but i wont be complacent. there might be a stroke of bad luck lurching around the corner. yesterday seemed worse than today, making me think that the last day of july is warming me up for what august has packed for me this year. yesterday started with me waking up around 9am. i think. had a 1pm class and havent really studied yet. ive read the assignments but ive done that long ago so all i have were a general idea floating in my head. and that is never enough in law school. organized retention is important. anyway, i was supposed to do some reviewing of the assignments but i wasnt able to do so because bayantel called to have the dsl connection fixed. i called the night before, again, complaining about the intermittent connection. the technician arrived but wasnt able to fix it because he needed time and i didnt have time since i had class. so there wont be an internet connection til they got it fixed and they will have it fixed the following day, today, which they did. anyway, went to school. first class was PIL. got called. the class i was least prepared and i happened in one of those days where i feel im very unprepared. i mean, most of the time, i go to class confident that i know something. but i dont get called for those days. i get called on the day i have a vague idea of the assignment. nice. second class was nego, then evidence. good thing i wasnt called on those subjects but compared to PIL, i was more prepared for those. anyway, headed home and when i was about to alight from the jeepney, i hit my left abdomen on the jeep's steel bar because it accelerated even before i got off. ouch. ok, they really arent bad luck compared to what happens in august which is more of a series of unfortunate events but i thought it were indications of whats heading my way. anyway, august 1 came, the internet connection is better, still checking if its really fixed. didnt get called. got home safe with no injuries whatsoever. thats something to be thankful

another one of them recaps of what happened to me this week. lets start...

last monday, july 23. no classes due to SONA but i went to school anyway and studied in the library.

tuesday. i think it was another film showing for evidence. had PIL. i think there was no nego class. now i remember. we watched the last film for evidence at kai's place because there's no available facilities for us at that time. the block ordered pizza and i think each person's share was P35. the better part is i think i ate 7 slices because no one wanted to eat the last few slices. you know me, im like a scavenger. just waiting for food no one wants to eat anymore (as long as its still ok to eat of course and im in the mood to eat it)

wednesday. got succession and transpo. nothing interesting

thursday. had PIL in the morning. supposed to be double PIL classes, the earlier one as make-up class for what was supposed to be scheduled make-up class for wednesday. anyway, the afternoon PIL class didnt push through. had nego and had another one of mam avena's class exercises about the movie. it was a very draining and grueling exercise which took the class hours to finish. i think we finished around 8:15-8:30pm. tired and hungry, those who decided to stay and finish the activity went to mcdo philcoa to eat before heading home. there was 12 of us. we finished around 10:30-11pm and went home after.

friday: after a tiring activity the night before, we had a 9am class for succession. then transpo hours later.

saturday: as usual, i was in the fourth floor of the library studying. was able to study the entire day without being tempted to go to the mall and watch a movie. i really should stop giving in. it prevents me from saving money

sunday: accompanied my brother to an UPCAT review center. woke up around 630am, got there by 745am (because it was sunday morning, it took some time before the jeepneys got filled with passengers). went to mcdo katips by 8am and studied til 1230am. then went to UP to kill some time til 2pm. went back to mcdo katips again to eat then went to NBS katips to kill more time and then went to the review center to wait for my brother. i was at least more than 2 hours early, so i read "The Salmon of Doubt" by Douglas Adams while sitting in the lobby.

monday: full week. had succession and tax. im glad that im finished reading the first set of succession cases. as for tax, i better have the new readings photocopied.

got home around 11. mam avena gave another one of them class exercises. it really drained us a lot! but it was a good exercise, really made use of a lot of our brain juice.

still feeling bad that harry potter series had ended. ok, the fact that there wont be new stories of ron, hermione, harry and rest of them magical people had started to sink but its sinking in slowly. its bound to distract me for a couple of days and i hope its just a couple of days. i mean, crap, the story's over. its really the end. felt the same way when i finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy. really felt bad about not finding out where Fenchurch went and that Trillian and Arthur's story ended in such a way.

nothing significant or out of the ordinary happened last thursday and friday. last thursday, no PIL, had nego and a film showing for evidence (continuation of the Briggs case movie, Separate but Equal). for friday, no succession and the rest of the day was watching films again for evidence (Inherit the Wind and The Accused)

aaah! its 2am and cant think of what to write for my PIL paper! this sucks. i cant think of any thing i could possibly say on the article by shaw on the law of treaties.

got home around 9pm because of a film showing for evidence. the film was Separate But Equal. i liked it actually. too bad we didnt get to finish it yet because the movie was four hours long.

as for nego class, nothing extraordinary. it was discussed in the digression that lawyers do not create value or economic value. they transfer value but not create it. a few years back, the same professor also mentioned that lawyers are worthless in an unorganized society or where the law is insignificant like on top of a mountain. a doctor remains useful there in case something wrong happens while climbing a mountain but what could a lawyer possibly do in a similar situation? and then, the day before, a different professor mentioned that lawyers have a bad reputation worldwide. but even with these things mentioned, law students are just amused of such thoughts and remain undeterred to continue their law studies.

as for PIL, no class was held. but the paper due wednesday noon remains and right now, even if i have some ideas cropping up, its not really worth half a page nor idea brilliant enough to stand as sufficient to be said in less than half a page

another ordinary day. attended my succession and tax law classes with nothing out of the ordinary. yesterday, sunday, i went to UP to attend the first matches for courts of law. i signed-up for table tennis because i thought no one wanted to play. i was informed by someone from 4D that he wants to play too and i was glad to let him play instead of me. even if i knew i wasnt going to play, i still went to the CHK gym. i havent played table tennis for quite some time and i just wanted to just play a little. besides, it was good that he replaced me because he was certainly better than i was. and when i was heading home, saw my cousin at the Checkpoint, riding his one-month old big bike. hitched a ride to philcoa. tsk. and i thought i was going to be the first one in the family to own one of them big bikes. i mean, it was my plan to buy one once i start earning. and if ever im going to buy an automobile, id buy a pick-up or something built for similar purposes.

as for the day before, saturday, i also went to UP after waking up around lunch time. i was planning to study in the library but unfortunately, the 4th floor was closed and it was hot in the 3rd floor. so i headed to the mall. i dont quite recall why i went there in the first place. next thing i know, i was heading home thinking it was a waste of time to go to the mall.

as for friday, july 13 (friday the 13th), it was a very good day. it started with me inside the UP library studying. then i got a text message from diane asking me if i want to go to marikina shoe expo to see an exhibit and eat at bellini's afterwards. then right after jump texted whether i was going to the Block D party at grace's house. i said yes to both of them (although i was hesitant whether i really wanted to go to the party). anyway, after a few hours, headed home to get some sleep since i didnt have any the night before. then went out with diane later. and hours later, went to the party. got home around 3am. jluy 13th in its entirety was really good and also served a break from law school (not that i really needed one since ive been spending time with old friends lately).

as for thursday. nothing out of the ordinary. got Public international law (where weng and allelu were called to recite), negotiable instruments (where i got called to recite and made a fucked up mistake of citing the wrong article number, saying the provision i was reciting was article 66 when in fact it was 65!), and evidence (where a class activity was prepared by mam avena where we were supposed to apply what we have learned from the past weeks to the film we just saw last tuesday. as some of my blockmates joked, we were 31 angry students! the film was 12 angry men).

as for wednesday, went to see harry potter right after succession class. saw it in The block, and watched it around 2:30pm (class ended around 1:30pm, so it was really fortunate that i need not wait long and loiter in the mall). i was a bit disappointed and felt the movie was like an extended trailer with its "choppy" scene transitions. but even if thats the case, i still intend to watch it again with my siblings this coming weekend. i also got in touch with eller (thru text of course) since it was his birthday.

as for tuesday, again nothing much out of the ordinary. got PIL class for around 30 mins since prof leonen wasnt able to come in time (very busy man), nego and evidence (film showing of 12 angry men). when i got home, i resumed reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on my PC (wasnt able to buy the book, but i will buy it eventually!) which i started continuing reading the day before, monday. i think i finished it around 3am.

and to complete a full week of recollection, we now turn to monday where like today, nothing out of the ordinary. got succession and tax. but when i got home to read PIL's assigned article of the International Law Association, i read Harry Potter instead since it was going to be released by wednesday, july 11, and i better finish it so i could get to watch the movie.

there, one full week of recollection.

finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince last night, july 15, at 12:47am (the book was given to me as a gift two years ago, 2005, when i was still a freshman law student of UP, by college blockmates). started reading it last wednesday night. tsk. there was a time when i read these books in one sitting but ever since law school, never had the time. i think i was able to read books 1-4 in one sitting. wasnt able to buy Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix so i only read a soft copy which i downloaded. its not even the official audio book, i think. its got errors. dont worry JK Rowling, im going to buy the fifth book one of these days even if already read it. i had to read it since i will not watch the movie til i finished reading it so i was forced to settle for a not so good version. i finished it hours before i went to see the movie, meaning i finished it around 3am of wednesday, july 11 and saw the movie at 230pm at The Block. i have to buy the book since im collecting all the hard bound versions. if i just had the money, i would collect all possible versions of the books (i mean, for different areas, there are different book covers, and i would like to get the non-english ones too, but like i said, if i had the money). if i manage to get a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows this year and read it of course, 2007 would be something significant for it would be the year i read 3 harry potter books for the first time. well, i havent re-read any of the books yet. my plan is to read all 7 again continuously.

the bayantel connection still sucks. ive said this so many times. the connection speed isnt bad (because thats what people ask, the speed), but the connection itself is intermittent! what the crap would i do with a fast internet connection when it keeps stopping from time to time. fine, i dont get disconnected but still the fact that it gets in the way of downloads and even simple loading of a browser is very fucking annoying. ive called their customer service many times, and bayantel does fix it, but it wont take long before the problem or another problem starts. its really getting tiring.

its been more than a week, and still not over Transformers. so addicted that aside from getting all the transformers desktop wallpapers i could find, i also looked for ringtones. also made my own ringtones by "mixing" the ones ive found. also made my own wallpaper, but after making one i stopped because i felt i was rushing it. well, i had to rush it because i also have to study, i just cant spend all day doing desktop wallpapers and ringtones.

what the? its already past 12 noon! why am i surprised? well, i just woke up. it seems that i was knocked out when i slept last night. but i didnt sleep that late. i think i slept around 130am, which is not unusual, i sleep around that time but i wake up (but not get out of bed) between 6-8am. i get out of bed between 9-10am. its just this time, i slept around 1o hours straight like im passed out or something. thats why when i looked at my clock and saw its already noon, i quickly got out of bed. i think im still recovering from the mid week drinking i did. or i drained myself too much yesterday. nope, cant be. although i was almost in tears for unknown reasons while reading a tax law book (i become teary-eyed for unknown reasons and the next thing i know a swirl of emotions start kicking-in). its like my mental side is already exhausted and my suppressed emotional side is trying to make itself felt. with a weak mind, the emotional part could take the oppotunity to overpower my "mental defenses". but unlike before, i wont make that mistake again, so i stopped reading and took a short walk. it worked, walking it off got my emotional side under control. so, does that explain why i had the heavy sleep? maybe, maybe not. i mean, its not like i studied intensively nor was it a long period of time. maybe there were situations that called for my emotional side and didnt let it take over, suppressing it because its "out of character". wow, its a sunday afternoon and im formulating non-sensical theories. better eat my breakfast and lunch and start studying. ive already wasted my morning.

browsing some emails ive sent back in 2004, and im tempted to take excerpts of it and discuss it. some of them have nice ideas that could be elaborated and some disclose facts that proves that things have changed over the years. unfortunately, i cant do that right now, its 2am in the morning, i have things to do when i wake up hours later. tsk. maybe some other time.

what happened this thursday. well, no PIL again, thankfully. why? because i can still feel the alcohol running through my veins. whenever i burp, i can still taste the beer. gross? not yet. when i got home, july 5, i felt that the last bottle of beer i drank has not kicked in yet. so i had to induce myself to vomit in order for me to sleep peacefully (because i was still very tipsy and very dizzy). and when i woke up six hours later, i was sweating so much, probably my body is trying to get rid of the alcohol from my system, and i was very hungry. so i ate breakfast and drank a liter of liquids to hydrate myself (500ml of milo, 500ml of water). then i slept again. when i woke up for lunch, drank another liter of water. i just have to keep hydrating myself so i could counter the dehydrating effects of alcohol and its effect on my blood density. anyway, even if there was no PIL, i had to classes two go, Nego and Evidence. and thankfully again, i wasnt called to recite. my head was aching during class. and also, the people around me seemed to be friendly than usual, so again, thank God no one was a pain in the ass. i mean, its fun to have a night of drinking but the day after that is not as fun, so thursday was a bit of a relief because at least there was nothing to spoil my day of recovering from the drinking session i had hours before.

another one of them nights where when im lying in bed, i cant fall asleep and when i decide to do something else other than lie in bed, i feel sleepy. might have messed up my blood circulation again because of a night of drinking. dont know how many bottles exactly but jump said most likely it was six bottles. i have to make up for that by drinking a lot of liquids. dont want my blood density to reach the "unwanted"density levels.

anyway, the night of drinking im talking about is when mark celebrated his birthday last july 4. i was really thirsty for some alcohol. i mean, i tried to follow the doctor's orders, which i was able to comply for about year, back in 2005. started drinking with caution around 2006, where i drank alcohol in very moderate, or maybe less than moderate amounts. that was frustrating. and now its 2007, and so far, my blood condition has improved. i mean, its not as bad as before and im not having those headaches nor sleepiness like before. so, im trying to bring back to good old days where i can drink, not to my heart's content but at least enough to satisfy the thirst. not that im no longer being cautious but im just more of mindful. i know my limits.

another ordinary day. nothing much happened that would really be worth telling. we didnt have nego class today. thats a bit of relief. not that i didnt study but im really drained. and its just july! crap. i better recharge myself as soon as possible

lost it. my momentum i mean. ive been doing well with the studying bit until, well, july came. coincidence, most likely. but the turn isnt in my favor and im not liking it either. like today for example, i didnt even attend my second class. why? aside from i dont feel like going to class because i was feeling so lazy, i conveniently had a headache. well, the headache was sort of on and off. and i really should have control over myself. im getting tired of losing battles with myself.

aaah! for some reason, my PC and my cellphone aren't functioning very well. seems my cellphone is headed for another memory card problem. this means i need to buy a new one. as for my PC, one of the CD drives is malfunctioning causing the PC to slow down or have non-responsive programs. nice start for July. maybe its payback time for the nice things that's been going my way lately. but the worst isnt suppose to happen until august comes in. maybe july would be warming me up for the worst scenarios so i would be prepared for the stuff august has to offer.

ok, this day didnt go well. but it wasnt bad either. woke up late again. its really a big problem for me because once i go to sleep, its hard for me to force myself to wake-up. i mean, the alarm clock wakes me up but i go back to sleep again. im very irrational and rational at the same time during these moments. rational in a sense because i can deliberate clearly on some things but irrational because when i weigh what's important, usually, its sleep that i give the most weight. like, my target is to wake up by 730 am. when i hear the alarm by 630am, i start to calculate how many readings i have to read and how long it will take me to finish them. then i start asking, is it really necessary to wake this early? this is where i start to be in favor of studying by way of cramming. like i try to calculate the exact length of time it would take me to finish the assigned readings, and finish it right before the first class. now, these are always mere estimations, sometimes i accomplish it, sometimes i dont. but this would be possible if i wake up at my secondary target time (since i deliberated this by 630am, i would set another time after making my calculations, so lets say i calculated 8am would be the time i should wake up to get to school by 9am because i only need more or less 4 hours to study...or cram...everything). lately, i dont wake up on the secondary target time because i forget to set the alarm clock again. so thats why i woke up late a while ago. but i was able to study for both my classes. but well, those efforts werent good enough. got called again in transpo class, and like last week, my recitation was crap. and when i say crap, i do mean crap. so, this means, i need to exert more effort, more than what im doing right now. weird part is, i fared better when i was taking things lightly. should i go back to my old and tested ways? maybe i should give the new study habits a few more weeks.

this day went well. woke up a bit later than i wanted. i was supposed to go to school and be there by 730am, or at least 8am to study but unfortunately i woke up around 9am. a few minutes after waking up, i got a text message saying we wont have class for PIL, my first class for the day. nice, thanks God, i appreciate that. it gave me time to study for the remaining subjects. ive already read the assigned readings a few days ago, but like jump said a while ago, the problem is retention. i wasnt able to retain much from what i read. i know why. im used to studying on the last minute, im a crammer to the core. so no matter how many times ive read the assigned readings, i wont really absorb it until its crunchtime. and true enough, most of what i retained came from what i read just a while ago. so i better change that study habit.

so nothing extraordinary happened today, just another usual law school day. well, except that nikki was in UP a while ago to do her research for her thesis. it was nice to see a college blockmate again. and it also confirms that im not the type who easily misses people or miss their company. when i saw her, after not seeing her for...umm...months?... it was as if i just saw her yesterday.

and mark just texted me, informing me of the tragic thing that happened to chris benoit. its shocking but im guessing it might be career related. if not, then it was really a very serious family problem.

there is a God! got a text message this morning that we wont meet for our first class. this is what ateneans refer to as a "free cut" (since i was informed that its not usual to hear this term in UP and those who use it in UP came from ateneo). anyway, really thankful for that because technically, i had no weekend (because of the notion that weekends are supposed to be rest periods). i spent friday and saturday studying. i also used a bit of sunday (i used sunday evening to write a paper for a law class) to study but spent most of it on some other thing which i would not consider as a break that means resting period but a break from law school because its not a law related activity. the past few days had been mentally tiring but i should start getting used to it if im serious on changing my study habits and taking law school seriously. ive studied harder before, much harder than the kind of studying im doing now, so i shouldnt take long getting used to this. but then again, back then, it didnt really prove to be productive. ok, i was able to study very well but that meant having all my energy channeled in one direction (maybe that's the problem, i channeled all of my energy). so the level of focus and concentration i gave on studying lead me to neglect everything else and to a certain extent made me weak. i think vulnerable would be a more appropriate word. therefore, i shouldnt commit the same mistake again. i shouldnt focus everything on studying and drain my energy just to improve my mental side because it would weaken my emotional and physical side and make it prone to injury, just like what happened before. it took one hit to set a chain of events that would make me plummet down so fast i wouldnt have time to take evasive action or at least do some type of damage control.

another tiring day. woke up with a clogged nose because of the cold. then a few hours later, around 1:30pm, i went to UP. i used the van to go to there because i wasnt in the mood to commute on a sunday. the roads are not as congested compared to ordinary weekdays so its nice to drive than to commute. it was the first time this semester i used the van. its been some time since i drove. anyway got home around 7pm and it was a nice drive home because there was this light rain, and it was already a bit dark and the roads are clear! its not the usual driving atmosphere. the air is cool, the road is wet and not much vehicles to mind while driving. ok, the wet road is problematic but for some reason, i liked driving fast on wet roads, not that i was running on slippery roads but it was easier to steer. so i was making turns at not so slow speeds. the liteace van we have is not that easy to drive, i mean, those who use it say that its a bit harder compared to the ones they use. you have to step on the brakes harder, turn the steering wheel harder, etc. that kind of harder and not in the sense its complicated to drive.

its official, i have a cold! the common cold! the cold virus won the battle against my immune system this morning. well, i already felt i was going to be ill a few days ago, meaning i knew that i was already infected by the cold virus and it was only a matter of time before it wins the battle against my immune system, but i was hoping that my body could resort to some kind of measures so that i wouldnt have the slight fever i had this morning when i woke up. i dont know, make the cold feel like nothing? i really hate having a runny nose and nasal congestion, especially nasal congestion! cant sleep!

anyway, even if i had a slight fever, i still went to UP to study. i really am going to take things seriously this time. even if i wasnt feeling well, i was able to study from 1pm to 4pm. im a bit disappointed because i wanted to study til 7pm but, i really cant force myself anymore, i might aggravate the illness. to make me feel better, i decided to eat at kenny roger's and try their cheeseburger. it was tasty like bruno said, but i still prefer wham burgers because it has more meat (much more meat! but i should also start going back to latasia fusion, i need to have a good dose of veggie food. as of now, cant picture myself becoming a vegetarian or a vegan. but i do understand what veggie people are fighting for, why they do what they do, and i wish i could contribute but, im just a meat lover, sorry. maybe in 10 years, i might reconsider and actually change). and i also like brothers burger better. at least the burger at kenny rogers are better than the fast food ones (i like jollibee's champ more than mcdonalds big mac because big macs are "dry", and i like the juicy tomatoes they use in champ burgers). or maybe i wasnt able to fully appreciate kenny roger's burger because i have a cold? ok, so ill try it again when im "cold-free".

also, i appreciated the concern of jason, cheska and jump. they were also at the library. i mean, ok, i have a cold and slight fever trying to finish all the assigned readings because i have something to do on sunday. it wasnt a big deal for me. shit happens and well, i just have to deal with it right? but sometimes i forget that i dont have to deal with things alone. they showed their sense of compassion by well, giving me tips on how to deal with the cold and offering me some medicine and peanuts. really liked the peanuts. how come i never thought of eating peanuts in the library while studying? apparently, what i do in the library most of the time is sleep. not this time, not this semester. anyway, those small acts did make me feel better. why? because i didnt expect it. maybe its part of human nature or im just out of touch (most likely the latter). my college blockmates have showed this nice side of human nature so many times but until now, i still find it puzzling. i live the life the way Hobbes described the life of man in the state of nature: solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. im just used to dealing with things alone when ive never been alone my entire life. i always had friends who were there for me. unfortunately, i wasnt there for them. well, wasnt there all the time. i was only there when they directly and specifically ask for it. but i wont be there volunteering myself or do stuff without being told. i assumed they think the way i think: fight the battles alone. help is only an option one should always hesitate to take. thats how i thought a person should be responsible for his or her actions. never think there will be someone to help. well, some people frown upon this idea of dealing with life.

anyway, i appreciate what they did but i just dont know how to show that appreciation. i just cant stop myself from withdrawing, from moving away from people. i find it hard to learn how to depend and trust other people. some friends have lectured me on this. i dont know. to change or not to change. of course people would say that i choose the former but i have grown comfortable with the latter. so, it wont be that easy even if i think changing myself is what seems to be the right thing to do.

not much happened this friday. all i did was study in the law library (yeah baby! im studious! and not a stooge...corny). got there around 11am, read until 12, ate lunch til 1230, back to studying til 7pm! of course there are a few 15 minute breaks here and there but i would say, not bad. its an improvement, big improvement! i was able to finish my assigned readings for 2 of my subjects for tuesday. going back to the library again this saturday and do another day of studying. hope i finish the readings for monday's classes. why? because i have things to do on sunday.

crap! im drinking hot milo and my mug almost slipped from my hand. if it did, my computer's keyboard would have gotten wet and well, i would probably need to buy a new one.

why am i drinking hot milo when the weather hasnt changed? it is still fuckin hot!

well, its because i think im going to have a cold. i already felt very weak when i woke up this morning (that's why i wasnt able to study for PIL and had to cut class...that's just irritating because im aiming to have a good attendance for this sem and i already have an absence on the first two weeks of classes!).

well, this day went well. was able to study for the remaining classes, and fortunately i wasnt called. i could answer but im really fully prepared. but then again, since when was i fully prepared? even if i read the assignment so many times, the professor can always think of a question the student would not have been able to anticipate. that's law school professors for you.

so, what happened today? well, i wasnt feeling well when i woke up. feeling a bit dizzy til around lunchtime and i had a 1pm class. so i started thinking of a strategy. i mean, im not feeling well and im not prepared for class . if i go attend my three classes unprepared, i might ruin 9 units. if i cut my first class which is at 1pm, i sacrifice 3 units, and possibly save my 6 units if i could use the time which is allotted for my first class for studying for the two other subjects. i wouldnt resort to this if i was in my...umm...optimal level or something like that. since i wasnt feeling well, i couldnt exert as much effort and i had to study slower than usual because i dont want to aggravate my health.

anyway, i chose the latter, cutting my first class and try to study for the two remaining subjects. fortunately, i was feeling better by 1pm. unfortunately, i wont make it on my 1pm class. fortunately, there wasnt a 1pm class! jump texted me we dont have a 1pm class for today. unfortunately, since i wasnt at school, i wasnt able to sign up for the readings being photocopied. but fortunately, i was able to borrow a copy from ten so i was able to photocopy the readings. unfortunately, i wasnt able to sign up for the other set of readings because i didnt know there was more than one set of readings! crap. and tomorrow will be another tiring day. at least the day would start a little late because my first class is a 5pm class, so i have time to study for my subjects tomorrow. unfortunately, since the classes are late in the afternoon, it also means im going to have class til night time. the problem with this is that i have less time to study for my thursday classes. but at least i have a light friday sched so i can rest after a tiring week. but im going to be busy this weekend, so...crap. this is why i dont want to think ahead.

havent posted anything for a while (except the rant below). ive been occupied with stuff lately. not really busy. something close to busy since i have enough time to rest and similar stuff.

so, my last post before my rant was june 7. ok. its been more than a week. june 12 was the first day of classes. really annoying for the president to move it to june 11. its independence day! its not the same celebrating independence day on june 11. i just dont know how to appreciate our independence. point is, it shouldn't have been moved! ok, this is turning into another rant.

anyway, first day of classes went fine. and so did the other classes. already had some recitations. no humiliating experience, thank God for that.

last thursday, june 14, barely had sleep because i had to submit a paper by 10am, by email. finished it by 9am. emailed it a few minutes later and took a bath to prepare for school. being the paranoid shithead that i am, i checked if my email bounced, and well, it did! had the wrong email address, texted jason and jump for the correct one. when jason texted me the correct one, the email bounced again! why? inbox full! i looked at the time, it was 945am, 15 mins away from the deadline, good thing i was already dressed, so i rushed to malcolm hall, got there 15 mins past the deadline. what a way to start the first weeek of classes. no sleep, rushing to meet a deadline. and to make things worse, since i was already lightheaded due to lack of sleep (i hate it when i dont get at least 6-7 hours of sleep, this also means i do not deprive myself of sleep unless i came from a party or, like the one above, i need to finish something), during the classes, i couldnt follow a thing the professors were saying! i understand the words but i dont understand the sentences! i felt so stupid. grace was asking me stuff during evidence class and i understand what she was saying but i cant think of an answer to what she was asking because mam avena's lecture was clear but for some reason, the things she were saying were not sinking in! all i really wanted to do by that time was to sleep. good thing i have a very light schedule on fridays.

and now its monday. had to submit another paper, due 12am, finished it around 11am, was able to submit it by 11:15am, by posting it online. and tomorrow will be another tiring day (three classes, 9 units, under a good line-up of brilliant professors...translation: difficult! come to think of it, our block is lucky to have such professors. ok, the grades they give may make our transcripts look bad but at least we learn a lot from them and they really would make sure that our time in the classroom is not wasted. easy for me to say since im not very mindful of the grades i get)

i hate bayantel's DSL service! their customer service is fine, but the connection itself sucks! it was ok the first few months, then came the earthquake that caused connection problems. ok, that was force majeure so cant really blame bayantel for that. then it was ok again for a few months or so, but starting May, the internet service just keeps getting problems. even if they have efficient customer service and they do fix it quickly, calling customer service often is really fucking annoying. wait, what am i complaining about? intermittent connection! and sometimes, the connection speed is just so fuckin slow! nice. this explains why bayantel is bayantel.

weird...why didnt i post this? its actually june 18 right now, and i checked my posts, and this was labeled as draft...i have no idea why i didnt post this and decided to save it as draft...looks finished to me...anyway, this is the short entry:


its almost midnight, and im sleepy. but since its so hot, im sure that i wont be able to fall asleep.

anyway, ive been trying to recall what song mentioned Mobius strip in its lyrics. i kept thinking of alanis morissette until i gave up and googled it. the answer? nelly furtado's "Hey Man"

i went to the mall a while ago to eat lunch. i came from UP because i had to pay my tuition fee. im a bit thankful im not covered by the tuition fee increase but at the same time, im a bit disturbed by the increase itself. it really is a big increase! anyway, im digressing, again! so i was at the mall, and i thought to myself, how the hell was i able to watch all the movies last semester? and when i say movies, i mean not only the ones shown in cinemas but also the ones on video. it appeared to me that i had a lot of time, when in fact i had little time. i was about to say no time to watch movies but that would be an exaggeration. well, no time to watch all of those movies i watched, thats a bit realistic statement. anyway, its weird because the way i remember it, i was also able to read all my readings. where the hell did i get all that time? maybe bruno has a point, maybe it appeared to me i was studying. because between movies and studying, i am more certain that i watched those movies, i couldnt have imagined it. but i also know i read my readings! why would they have highlighted pages? it wont highlight itself! but then again, last semester was so stressful, that's why i watched movies a lot. and also, i had problems concentrating and focusing in school. in addition to some personal stuff that bothered me. for sure, im not crazy to have imagined i was studying. anyway, i better not repeat the kind of performance i did last semester because my grades...my grades are just so bad. but then again, things just went beyond my control last semester. this time, i better double my efforts, and just hope that i have full control of things. ok, maybe if not full control, considerable control so that i wont make my grades plunge so low, i would be burying myself alive.

june 07, 2007..still hot! aah! when will the cold weather kick in? actually, it kicked in already...for a few days! i dont mind the heat, as long as its not this hot! fuckin annoying!

anyway, what have i been up to lately. havent posted a blog entry for 2 weeks. i think. well, i remember going to this program/event organized by FIND and the Lagman family. other than that, i spent the remaining days of May 2007 at home (aside from the weekends at Montalban, where these past 2 weeks, we did some painting...messy, messy activity...painted my cabinet black with neon green edges using spray paint for the neon green. i was trying to do a matrix color theme...didnt quite work out the way i wanted it to be. i mean, its still too dark. the combination is what i expected it to be, but i need more neon green. so i think im just going to buy some glow in the dark stickers).

then came june. stayed at home most of the time, trying to savor the last few days of vacation. but the days really became more of a blur. i sleep too much. anyway, by june 06, had to enroll. i was a bit worried because it also meant more grades would come out. the grades are always incomplete, its still incomplete, which is a good thing for those like me who arent doing very well. this grading system academic institutions use just doesnt work for me. but what can i do, thats the best thing universities and schools can use to evaluate students. im digressing. the reason i mentioned enrollment is because of the great improvement in the process or procedure. it took me a total of more or less three hours to enroll. unlike the past semesters where it took me an entire day. also, i noticed, i am always part of the group where the cut off for the day is made. its like, im always there when the college secretary says, "this is the last batch, tell the others that they will be entertained tomorrow. its time to call it a day" wow, am i jinxed or something? its like, once i step in the office to go to the adviser, the cut off begins.

so, that's what i have been up to lately. nothing much huh?

its raining more frequently lately. i love it when it rains. sort of reminds me of garbage's song, "im only happy when it rains". i miss that band. i miss shirley manson. i also miss the cranberries. too bad dolores o'riordan went solo. just noticed, im missing 2 vocalists, one from scotland, the other from ireland...ok...nothing. just noticed.

anyway, even with the frequent rains, it still hasnt improved the problem of the intense heat! the rains are just a break from the hot weather.

so, what have i been up to lately...well, last tuesday, had some medical check-up of some sort (cbc, fbc, cholesterol count). then on wednesday, may 23, i watched Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End (POTC3:AWE), as early as 11:10am, first screening on cinema 12, Sm North. the old cinemas on Sm North (meaning not the ones found in The Block - cinemas 5-12), aren't really that good, but...well, its just average. its a bit bad, but...anyway, i watched it there out of convenience. i didnt want to go back to TriNoma yet. the first time i went there was just awful. my sister was joking, it was traumatizing experience going to Trinoma. aside from that, there isnt a mall near enough that was better than the cinemas found in SM North. why didnt i watch in The Block (cinemas 1-4)? well, the screening time was a bit late. ok, it may be a few minutes later, but i really wanted to watch POTC 3 as soon as possible. good thing it wasnt a disappointment like Spiderman3.

anyway, come thursday, i helped my aunt and cousin distribute invitations for an event. so i was driving around QC with them, looking for the offices where we are supposed to give the invitations to.

and now, its friday. im off to montalban again in a few hours. ill be back on sunday. so that's pretty much my week, and my upcoming weekend. and whem im home, im like a couch potato. but instead of watching stuff thats on tv, i watch movies and tv shows on my PC.

just bought a pair of shoes and 2 pairs of jeans. that's pretty much what i did today. i was in montalban yesterday, and trinoma last saturday. tomorrow, going to pasig for an annual medical check-up. fasting begins tonight for some sort of cholesterol test. that's all

cant sleep! its too hot!

well, i already fell asleep only to wake up around 12:45am and not fall asleep again because of the hot weather.

just got home from TriNoma. not yet fully finished. Gateway looked the same way before construction was completed. but at least Gateway had airconditioning. after roaming a bit, we just cant stay any longer in TriNoma. it was just too hot. too bad there wasnt any airconditioning yet. and also, they have a nice rooftop area.

its so hot right now, even if im just sitting in front of the PC and its almost midnight, im sweating like i just did some lifting. i wish i had a girlfriend this hot. but then again, hot chicks just dont fall from the sky, drop on your lap, and love you for everthing that you are. so its really pointless wishing that. reminds me of a line from Full Metal Alchemist. cant quote it verbatim but it goes like, "the good thing about a dream is that they exist in the world of fantasy. if a dream ever comes true, it was never a dream to begin with". something like that. just a thought.

they say nice guys finish last. assuming i really am a nice guy, because it seems that's what the world thinks of me (wait til they see what's in my head, that would explain why karma is against me), i wish i knew i was in a race to begin with!

listening to the Spiderman 3 soundtrack and im on track 5...too alternative. not that i have problems with alternative music but the collection of songs arent that good, its like there's not much variety...well, im just on track 5. and im not even sure if this is the OST. some guy just compiled the songs played in the movie

wallpaper collection update:
3D wallpapers: 82
anime wallpapers: 249
car wallpapers: 27
movie wallpapers: 970
music artist wallpapers: 176
nature/animal wallpapers: 97
tv show wallpapers: 32
miscellaneous: 115
sexy celebs/hotties: 3717

total: 5465 wallpapers...and still counting...

maybe i should start a wallpaper site of my own?

this is my 100th post! and on this post, i would like to say that "IT'S SO HOT!!!". the summer heat is just so intense. the nights dont make things any better. its hot all day long and all night long! cant wait for the rainy season or at least the cold weather to kick in.

not much is happening lately. and when i say lately, after may 14. that was when my vacation really started. anyway, just learned that a relative just had a brain stroke and still in a coma. dont know the person much, it was the first time i heard of him. the reason my mother mentioned it was because she's concerned again with our health. our lifestyle and the things we are eat are not exactly what people would call as healthy. add the fact that i have polycythemia.

just got home an hour ago. we did some rounds to check the precincts and election results. so far, sanlakas is doing ok. i hope it continues like that and wins at least one seat. the areas are generally peaceful and i havent seen any form of hostility. so i guess its really the provinces that heat up during elections and some areas in metro manila. fortunately, there's no violence in our area. the places had moderate security, with policemen doing their rounds on the school grounds. we also passed by Quezon City Hall which was heavily guarded. i guess they're prepared for the worst. i hope the worst nor anything bad never comes. i just want this election stuff done peacefully, properly and honestly as possible. though there's been a lot of reported election violence and election related deaths, im thankful that in our area, things had been quiet and safe.

i missed the taste of them nicotine! and i love drinking alcohol! that is all

cant think of anything to post. nothing much happened lately. well, i havent shaved my chin and upper lip for a month. so, i already have a moustache and...not sure if its a beard or a goatee...more of a short beard. might go to montalban again this afternoon.

so, what has happened lately? well, distributed leaflets last saturday, lagro area. went to montalban again last sunday and fortunately this time nothing bad happened. the week before, i hit my middle finger with a hammer, so half of my fingernail turned black. the week before that, i hit my head on a bamboo pole. it bled for around half an hour. i also volunteered to help on editing the bar reviewers where i found out its not as easy as i thought it would be. the monotony just makes my mind drift away and lose focus. so i had to take occassional breaks to do it properly. what else? still not finished with the campaign email. still contemplating on two things: go to bicol and enroll on a summer workshop. oh, and i also took a survey yesterday where i received some gift checks in return for participating. wait, i just remembered, i havent finished watching the prestige. that's my life at the moment, watch a lot of movies. speaking of movies, spiderman 3 premieres today! and i dont have tickets. that sucks.

you know what my problem is? problem is, i dont have a heart. not literally of course, but you know what i mean. what makes it worse is that, i act sometimes as if i have a heart. so do i get credit for that? pretending to have a heart? that's why some of the things i do just end up like pieces of crap, or a pile of crap. it just lacks that heart part. what can i do, i just dont have it. and i realized, i was better off not attempting to have a heart. life was easier, and much peaceful. it was a simple life to be who i really am without trying to contradict it. just be cold, heartless and detached. that's who i am, why bother changing it. ok, having emotions are ok, but it's getting tiring in the long run. it looks like fun, but i guess its not for me. it really is irrational and right now it has become pointless. so, revert back to the old ways? yeah, but it wont be easy. it wont be like the first time, where i just woke up one day and im emotionally dead. now, its a conscious decision and it would take some time reinforcing the old habits.

these past few days....sooo busy! cant even think of complete sentences...thinking in phrases....emails keep coming in...everytime i check...there's something to do...aaah..i want to take a break...and the people outside are noisy...and so is my cousin's dog...barking incessantly...its driving me crazy...i want to watch a movie!!!! but i cant....shhhiiiiiitt!!!!

this sucks.

i think its been quite a few days now that im feeling like a single minded person. i mean, i dont feel like that psycho shit where there are bunch of personalities inside me. that's not good news. i mean, what if a personality died down that has traits i like. crap. can i recover it? besides, i need them! ok, that's some psycho comment but not quite my ordinary psycho comment. crap.

another one of them sleepless nights. life sucks. especially after dropping by friendster and being reminded of things that's not really fun to think about.

things didn't really go well today. having only 2 hours of sleep (ok, 2 and a half, since i slept from 4am to 630am), i was asked to drive again to montalban. driving without sleep is not something new to me, i do it from time to time. i dont know how it started or when it started, but im used to driving long distances even without sleep. there was a time when there were close calls, where i almost hit the back of the vehicle in front of me because i was driving too fast but that is more of an exception because we were in a rush. anyway, back to the not so nice day, so i was sleep deprived and driving a long distance, not that bad. what made it bad is that when we got there, i was asked to assemble the bench for the dining table. its made of thick, heavy wood and very hard to assemble. so, im sleep deprived and was asked to do this difficult task. in the end, i wasnt able to assemble it and my father had to look for a carpenter to get the job done. that just proves how hard it was! it needs a professional to do it. anyway, what made it worse was that, while i was doing the actual attempt to assemble it, being sleep deprived, i was a bit careless and absent minded. with a hammer in hand, i hit my right middle finger, killing my nail in the process (in Filipino, patay na kuko). so right now, im having difficulties writing this blog entry because i cant use my right middle finger at the moment. and it hurts! actually, when i hit my finger, i had no reaction. it was painful but it seems i have delayed reflexes. i dont know, it took a while for me to feel how painful it felt. it happened so fast, one time i was hammering the wood then the next second, it hit my middle finger's nail. i looked at it and saw black patches and then told my mother that i just hit my nail. of course, after that, i still continued trying to assemble the goddamn bench that killed my middle finger's nail, but like i said, in the end, they had to hire someone to finish what i cant finish.

soooooooooooo tired!!!! ive been doing the website for hours now. aaah!!! it wasnt this difficult before.

using friendster has become depressing. seeing your friends, old and new, then looking at where i am at the moment, its just not something to be happy about. i feel like i made a wrong turn along the way. i feel like im the only one who refuses to grow up and move forward. i feel like im the only one stuck somewhere. i feel like im the only one. being the only one wasnt a problem before because i saw it as something that made me unique, like a professor joked, im a class of my own. i dont go around socializing with just anybody. but i digress. the point is, seeing myself as being the only who seems to be the one left behind while everyone keeps moving forward makes me ask the question: will i stay the way i am or will i try to catch up? right now, i ask another question, what's the point of catching up? so what if they are far ahead in life? not that it matters to me because im tired of life. it wont make much difference. if i stay where i am and stay the way i am, im going to get used to be stuck and being left behind. its only a matter of time anyway. ive reached this far doing things my way, and doing things alone, so its safer to keep on doing what ive done before. so am i afraid to take risks? not really. i just dont take it when i dont see the point in taking it. why waste energy and effort when there's no reason behind it? so everything must have a reason? yes.

right at this moment, i feel so left behind.

right at this moment, i truly feel im detached from everything.

right at this moment, i dont care about a single thing.

right at this moment, i should be hating life, but like i said, i just dont care anymore

im not blogging as often as i used to...why? i dont know. anyway, just read an email that mam avena gave a passing grade to everyone in her class this semester. so, am i regretting my decision to drop? nope. like i said, im really having problems during that time and if i continued my civil procedure subject, things might have gone worse. so when i said i was dropping for health reasons, i wasnt just saying it as an excuse. i really was having health concerns back then. if i not for that health concern, i might have soldiered on and continued the subject. unfortunately, that wasnt the case. well, too bad for me. as if im suprised. nothing ever goes my way. i should be happy nothing bad is happening to me at the moment and not expect anything more. that's the kind of life i have. always bad, sometimes bad, and nothing bad. its never something good. the peak is when nothing bad is happening. that's why i learned how to be contented. because things could be worse. so be thankful that things arent worse because hoping for something more will just lead to frustrations. so, the commercial on JackTv was right. the key to life is lowered expectations.

just spent 3 days in our house in montalban. we left thursday morning and got home just this sunday morning. and what amazes me is that i was able to last three days without cable tv (preventing me from watching my favorite programs since i rarely watch local channels), a PC (which i primarily use to check my emails (which i check at least once a day and an average of three times a day), blog and browse some stuff online), and a fridge (when i want something to eat, i go to the fridge because i dont cook and i like my drinks to be cold).

the house does not have much appliances and furniture yet so there really isnt much to do there. what i did most of the time was listen to my mp3 player (thank God for mp3 players) and play around with my digicam, shooting non-sensical stuff. also, i used some of the spare time reviewing for my final exam on april 10.

the good thing about the place was that it was quiet and peaceful and gave me time to reflect on stuff. something that i should be doing since it was holy week after all.

maybe i should lower my standards. i cant get a girlfriend if im looking for a girl who has the potential to be a supermodel (note: supermodel not model) or someone who can make it big as a hottie hollywood celebrity (note again: hollywood, not someone from the local showbiz industry). but how low? and why the crap do i have the high standards when im not the best looking guy in the world. heck, not even in the city, hehehe. anyway, just had this stroke of loneliness and getting tired of waiting. maybe i should get some sleep or something.

just had my labor exam early yesterday morning. it was ok. a bit frustrated because the question bruno asked the night before the exam actually came out in the exam! and what's frustrating is that i knew the answer to that, and come exam time, i forgot the other details! i could have gotten a perfect score for that item. i was a bit careless i guess.

what else....well, i went to the rockwell tent to go to an "intimate charity event". it was a lingerie fashion show/fund raiser. all i can say is...nice! cant believe i didnt attend the previous offer 2 years ago to attend this kind of show.

lastly, i hitched a ride with bruno to and from the rockwell tent. and well, when we were going home, we met an accident in the kamias area. minor vehicular accident but its still a bother since it still entails payment of damages, aside from the actual damage incurred. it wasnt our fault. we were stationary when the innova scratched and dented the left side of bruno's car. good thing we had digicams to take pictures and use it as evidence. and bruno was paying attention in his law classes and was able to write "settlement" forms.

the next time i need to go to sleep, i just have to drink some coffee. its confirmed. every time i drink coffee, i feel drowsy and extremely sleepy! well, 90% of the time. the remaining 10% of the time, it perks me up for an hour, then comes in the sleepy feeling. usually, this 10% applies if its my first time to drink a certain type of coffee. so i guess, by the 2nd time i try the coffee, my body has created an immunity from its stimulating effect.

this is probably the longest time ive been online, without any disconnections. how long? 11 hours, 35 minutes and 03 seconds...and counting.

i should start studying for labor law....right now, im just waiting for an email from grace containing the labor relations reviewer.

i was supposed to watch TMNT today but its my sister's graduation. so, i have to postpone it again!

weird. there are three muddy footprints near the doorway, as if a person came from the outside, went in the house with a muddy left foot (because there are only left foot prints). what made it weird is that we just saw it this morning, and not one of us claims it's his or hers. and it cant be us, because none of us went barefoot yesterday coming from the outside. so where did the footprints come from? and it wasnt there last night. so it was probably made while all of us were asleep. and why only left footprints?

ash is giving me a headache! i mean, its barks are like nails being driven down my skull! not to mention its been causing sleepless nights! of all the nights it could schedule its annoying night long barks, it had to start the night before my first final exam! so i didnt get to sleep that night. well, from 130am to 4am! and it hasnt stop barking ever since. ok, it does take a break from time to time but its only a few minute intervals. maybe it takes a break for 15 mins, then barks again for a couple of minutes. so i really cant fall asleep since when im about to, it barks again! so its like a cycle of falling to sleep without reaching the sleeping stage. its going to drive me crazy! and if it does, im going to a killing spree. why? because im insane! that's why! send me to the looney bin, i fucking dont care! some people treat me as if i dont have problems and i dont have a limit. i have tendencies to lose my sanity you know! anyway, the dog is still barking, and its showing no signs of stopping.

is this a deja vu? it was like my midterm exam for agency! i didnt get a good night sleep and i struggled in answering the questions! but i studied. well, i studied less on my agency exam compared to my partnership exam a while ago. i was confident on my agency exam because i thought i had a good grasp of the subject only to get pissed with my self for being too confident. just got that midterm exam back a few days ago and well, i was right, i didnt do well. and it happened again a while ago. what's more frustrating is that, i studied! ok, obviously, it wasnt enough. but maybe if i had a good night sleep, i would have done better. ok, that's a lame excuse but lately (meaning two or maybe three years), i rarely take an exam without a good night sleep. i always make sure that i have slept long enough (at least six hours, preferably around 8 hours).

anyway, right now, i just hope i get a passing grade for the final exam. that's all i ask.

wow, im actually studying again! im so proud of myself. after weeks of trying and forcing myself to study, im finally flipping pages and reading what's on them.

i started, i think around 9 am, and ive been reading for my partnership finals since then. of course, i take breaks here and there but point is, im getting somewhere! i just hope this effort is enough to keep me afloat in school.

ive lost all the things ive written on my other blog! goddamn power...i mean, electricity fluctuations! its only a little rain. there's barely a wind! only a gentle breeze. how come that electricity problem occurred. anyway, no major harm done anyway. i just hope its not a sign of more bad things to come. life has given me a break from the unfortunate events that normally happen (coincidentally, it happened a month ago, the same time ive been bothered with my sort of non-existent problem. non-existent because i cant figure out what it is. if i dont know what it is, it means i cant see what it is, and if i cant see what it is, how can i know its there, and how can i know its a problem, right? so, its logical that there's nothing there. so, nothing is bothering me).

what could ruin a cool relaxing rain on a peaceful summer night? a power outage! ok, that didnt happen, but a fluctuation on the electric current did! a fluctuation enough to restart my PC! crap. i hate that when that happens. it just ruined the good mood.

good thing firefox has this "restore session" function. not sure if explorer has that, havent used that browser for quite some time now. i didnt even upgrade it. at least i wont have to look for the website ive opened. this function of firefox is really handy.

i love rainy nights! and what is better than this? rain on a summer night! and its happening right now. just what i need. it gives a relaxing feeling. i have a finals exam on partnership (1-4pm) this saturday, followed by credit transactions class (530-730, maybe until 9...depends). finally, after a month of "taking a break", im actually studying again. although not as serious as i should be, at least im flipping pages and reading it. not just pretending which ive been doing for weeks now (i go the library, open a book or flip through the photocopied SCRAs, pretending im reading them when actually my mind is just drifting, contemplating of nothingness...cant help it, something's been bothering me for quite some time now). hoping by tomorrow, im going to finish every reading i need for the exam, and review it and review it again by saturday morning. that is, if everything goes well when i wake up tomorrow.

right knee hurting...not swollen, just sore. why? i dunno. just drove a while ago to fetch my mother from shopwise, cubao. it was just a short distance but after that short drive, my right knee started to hurt. maybe im no longer used to driving. and im going to drive to montalban this sunday! crap. my knees are going to hurt if thats the case. when was the last time i drove anyway? a week ago? it hasnt been that long. but i dont drive frequently, maybe that's why. i used to drive everyday to school, except wednesdays (coding).

so, am i feeling better already? yeah, i guess. i think its been days now that im no longer feeling fucked up. that UP fair night really drove me crazy. just crazy.

in less than a month, ive seen 15 movies, 7 in theaters, and 8 on video.

in theaters:
ghost rider
music and lyrics
the number 23
pursuit of happyness
bridge to terabithia
300
the hitcher (should have waited for it on video, wasnt that good)

on video:
Just Like Heaven (nice romcom, but 50 first dates is still the best)
40 year old virgin
Mirror Mask (entrancing eccentric visual style plus pretty actress: Stephanie Leonidas, now she's the Leonidas i like)
Tenacius D: The Pick of Destiny
Pan's labyrinth
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Must Love Dogs
Night at the Museum

going to watch (either on video or in cinemas, depends whether it will be released here):
Flushed Away
The Prestige (rent on video)
Walk the Line (rent on video, because of Reese Witherspoon)
TMNT (end of march)
The Reaping (april)
An Inconvenient Truth
Reign Over Me (release date is on mar23 but in the Philippines, around July!)
Spiderman3
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
The Punisher2
Bean2
Ocean's Thirteen
Penelope (again, because of Reese Witherspoon)
Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End (partly because of Keira Knigtley, and partly because its really a good movie)
Resident Evil: Extinction (i liked the first 2 movies)
The Simpsons Movie
Sin City2
Evan Almighty
Transformers (not a fan of TV series, but the trailer looks good, i hope the movie is really as good as it appears in its trailers)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Zodiac
I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (its a sandler movie)

ooops....spoke to soon. im fucked up as before! i just hate it here.

i now have: 3292 desktop wallpapers! 2054 are wallpapers of hot and sexy celebrities! females of course. 830 are movie wallpapers. 249 are anime wallpapers. the rest are wallpapers of cars, tv shows, nature, etc.

another lazy afternoon. got home, no one's home. nice. i like being home alone. i get the peace of mind i need. was planning to watch a movie, either 300 or The Hitcher. unfortunately, not in the mood to wait. i was at the mall around 1pm, and the next screening for 300 is 2:40 pm, and the Hitcher a bit earlier. and i couldnt think of anything i could do at the moment but eat lunch. i doubt it will take me that long to eat lunch. so i ate my lunch, and i only consumed 20 mins. that leaves me with more than an hour. so i decided to go home instead. its not worth waiting that long no matter how good the reviews are for 300. i can still watch it, maybe tomorrow or on friday.

anyway, feeling better now. maybe. dont have that bothered feeling anymore. never had the chance to figure out what it was or what caused it. i just hope its not playing tricks on me, like its going to manifest itself when i least expect it or waiting for the worst time it could pop up.

so itchy all over!!! got rashes on both my knees! dont know what's causing this allergic reaction, or to what ive been exposed to. all i know im allergic to dust mites and cockroaches. and i dont think ive been exposed to both. or maybe dust mites. i dont know. all i know is im itchy!

anyway, my state of mind hasnt improved yet. still think im going crazy. and having a hard time concentrating on my studies.