i wonder if God pulled a nasty trick on me. nah. its my own doing. my own initiative. my loss. im the one who wanted to make the deal. i was just too cocky and stupid to fully realize what i was giving up. at least i got what i asked for.

more than half a decade ago, i asked God for something. in return, i offered something i thought wasnt important to me. i was a loner so i thought, it wont be much of a sacrifice on my part since i can easily get by with only myself by my side. little did i know God knew me more than i did. God knew my future more than what my foresight could see. so a little more than a couple of years ago, i tried to break the deal by doing something i already promised i wont do because i already offered it or gave it up. after a few months, God made it clear that the deal is in force. that He actually accepted my offer. so i had to choose. break the deal, which meant losing what i was asking more than half a decade ago, or comply with the agreement and suffer the penalties for breaking it. i chose the latter. but in addition with the compliance, i asked for something in addition to what i initially asked. this time i offered something more. now, im bound by those promises i have made.