for a person that has become "energetic" and positive, im still far away from being truly open. im trying much harder in keeping out things that i cant control

i think i just became too aggressive. am i scaring people away? time to find a new watering hole.

people are starting to bore me again. damn it! cant let it happen. cant let this positive attitude slip away. once the boredom takes over...i need to think of a way to spice things up.

finally learned what song she sang to me the night she asked me to stay until 2:30am. i guess she was thinking of someone else when she was singing this song to me. how rude! she really was dangerous. sigh. oh well. i guess she can only love me in my dreams. damn it! i need to quit this shit.

i asked you to dance. is this all you have? not enough my dear friend. sadly, not enough. i want more than this.

im not feeling well

i guess i lack the selfishness to love a person

i wonder if God pulled a nasty trick on me. nah. its my own doing. my own initiative. my loss. im the one who wanted to make the deal. i was just too cocky and stupid to fully realize what i was giving up. at least i got what i asked for.

more than half a decade ago, i asked God for something. in return, i offered something i thought wasnt important to me. i was a loner so i thought, it wont be much of a sacrifice on my part since i can easily get by with only myself by my side. little did i know God knew me more than i did. God knew my future more than what my foresight could see. so a little more than a couple of years ago, i tried to break the deal by doing something i already promised i wont do because i already offered it or gave it up. after a few months, God made it clear that the deal is in force. that He actually accepted my offer. so i had to choose. break the deal, which meant losing what i was asking more than half a decade ago, or comply with the agreement and suffer the penalties for breaking it. i chose the latter. but in addition with the compliance, i asked for something in addition to what i initially asked. this time i offered something more. now, im bound by those promises i have made.

my upper body is in pain. but its not as painful as expected. but its still painful enough to force me to move slower than usual. surprisingly, my body doesnt ache after a serious workout or whenever i jog (i dont even do the stretching thing). but when i went surfing a few weeks ago, my left arm was sore for a week!

im feeling extremely lazy today

i am forced to change my hairstyle at the moment because i dont like my hair cut. this is why i dont like getting a haircut recently. the barbershop i used to go to changed its location due to a change in management and along with the change, my former barber disappeared because he no longer likes the new management of the barbershop. this happened more or less two years ago. ever since then, ive been looking for a new barber and i havent found one yet. since i have a job interview tomorrow, i was forced to get a haircut yesterday and the stylist didnt really get what cut i wanted. maybe i should bring my grad pic with me next time.

my arms are sore and my knees are bruised because i went surfing last monday (yet i still managed to jog yesterday and today. im proud of myself). went to la union with law school blockmates last weekend. it was great. it was nice. wish we could do it more often but the reality is, the older we get, the less likely vacations like this becomes. were running out of time. well, im running out of time. im not exactly the type of friend who's part of a close circle of friends (or a faction in a particular block). im more of an afterthought kind of friend or the "who else is there?" kind of guy. i have the tendency to disappear for months and resurface from time to time. crap. i think im a whale. 

i just barfed after laughing so hard. didnt know that could happen. well, ive been eating for hours so its not farfetched. i really should start to be mindful of my eating habits. even if i jog daily, it wont stop my weight gain if i eat non-stop. wow, this is something new to me.