im too busy and tired to care. makes me thankful that i can still get enough time to sleep. not a good night sleep though due to some pain ive been having for weeks but its still sleep nonetheless.

just got home from work. crap. i have a hearing tomorrow. im too tired to prepare. i guess i will just have to wake up really, really early.

very productive day today. managed to do a lot of work. yet not enough to finish everything. i hope i continue this hardworker mode until the end of the week.

at the end of the day, i just want to relax but its the middle of the week so its kinda impossible. the fact that Mcdonald's Matalino is still closed makes matters worse. i dont have a "happy place". there's no good alternative place where i can get my morning coffee before i go to my court hearings. i miss my morning cup of coffee before i go to work.

the internet is starting to get boring too. im no longer hooked on facebook. i only check my emails because of force of habit. the only thing i have left are my PS3 and my soshi addiction.

im seriously not feeling well.

im not feeling well. i think its psychosomatic. coincidentally, im listening to prodigy's breathe.

i think there's something wrong with my back. nothing seriously wrong. not yet. but certainly, there's something wrong

my lower back's been hurting since this morning. weird thing about it is, one of the cases ive scheduled to review and assess today involves a client who suffered from a lower back injury. of course my back pain is nothing compared to his. he suffered from a lower back injury due to heavy labor given the nature of his work. i think my back pain is my body's way of trying to symphathize with the client.

much as i want to be a hardworking person and be a workaholic, im having difficulties. the most i can be right now is be a laid back person. thats better than being just plain lazy. at least i get things done. but still its unacceptable given my pace of learning the tricks of the trade.

i started thinking, how come i cant use my "workaholic mode"? i really need it. especially right now that i have court hearings for three straight weeks (average of four hearings per week). being laid back is just good enough to make sure i get something done. but its really not a job well done. its probably good enough but obviously lacking stuff. or maybe not good enough at all. there's just some output. plain and simple.

im laid back in a sense, i sleep in my office room to rest. when im tired, i stop working. of course, i only stop when i can afford to stop, meaning no deadlines. but on the inside, i get occasional panic attacks when my brain starts to give me the "big picture" or the amount of work to be done.

i need to do something about this.