i checked my work email, hoping the printer emailed the quotation already. its december 24. everyone has probably dropped work by now. maybe i should too? nope. i will read some law school stuff instead while waiting for some last minute errands for tonight's preparations.

i would rather be hurt by the truth than be lied to. not that i dont like lies. im a big fat liar myself. i just dont like being lied to. i would rather have the harsh and cruel truth. but maybe its too much to ask for a liar like myself.

have a kitkat damn it!

people have been telling me to take a break but i still have a lot of stuff to do. im tired but for some reason, i really cant stop or i cant drop the stuff im doing. i just cant. its not that im too absorbed with work or im too absorbed with law school stuff or too absorbed with the other stuff im doing. i dont even focus on any of it. i try to do all. jack of all trades, master of none. variety is what keeps me going i guess.

yey! no class later. more time for work

im tired. i want to sleep. but i cant!!!! i need to study after work. just two more weeks. two more weeks. two more weeks then i can start focusing on stuff that i cant attend to like the real property concerns, backing up of files and reformatting the PC, installing softwares, etc. i wonder when i will be in the mood to really rest?

in a few minutes, i will leave the office. the work day is about to end. now comes the acads component of the day. off to the fast food place im in the mood to go to and...study while eating until my brain gives up. then sleep. then wake up and do this again for the next few months. and when my work contract expires, if things go well in school, i will go full time in studying for the next 5 months. then after that, i will find another employment and work full time. do this for the remainder of my life. hopefully, i would be too busy to notice that time has passed me by. thats what this life is all about now.

if the things im doing right now wont kill me eventually, i dont know what will. too much stuff to do. work, school, meetings that arent work and school related, etc. i dont have time for family gatherings and social stuff with friends. eventually, i wont have friends because im too caught up with serious stuff. eventually i wont have a family because they wont be seeing me anymore due to my priorization of the serious stuff.

why is there no coffee delivery service? i would like to have some cappuccino right now but im too lazy to go out. actually, its better that i dont go out. need to control my spending.

tomorrow will be november 30. unlike 2 years ago, tomorrow isnt really a deadline ive set. its more of seriously starting "re-activating" what should have been done this year. now that i think about it, my self six years ago was correct. things are happening the way i thought will happen. if i didnt change myself back in 2004, all these wont be a problem. i shouldnt have listened to others, i knew better. now what i need is the fuel for the fire to burn so i can finally return to my pre-2004 self.

just watched the 10th episode of Glee. some of the elements in the episode really made me uncomfortable.

im hungry

damn it! YM keeps surprising me with its popping and hissing sound

half of the people who are texting me arent in my cellphone's phonebook. what the? why do people keep using different numbers. half of the time i guess who the person im talking to. damn it! tell me who you are so i wont have to go through the trouble of finding out who im talking to.

at the end of the day...i just want to sleep. i just attended a peace agenda workshop from 9am to 6pm. and then i went to a meeting. and then checked my emails.

i was one hour late for class yesterday. i accompanied an afghan national to the airport and then got stuck in traffic on my way back to go to class.

had a staff meeting today.

right now, im really tired. im going to sleep early tonight.

no work emails today! why? because the server of the email service provider is down. that sucks.

its one of those nights where i thought nothing significant will happen. i do the usual stuff and think its like any other night. then all of a sudden, from out of the blue, something comes up. life happens. crap. its one of those surprises where blood rushes to my head and i feel dizzy for a while. i just saw something unexpected.

after regaining my senses, i ask...now what? then i ask myself, what would tristan do? not what would banjo do but what would tristan do? ive been doing some comparisons lately and social experiments and i admit, banjo is the loveable one. he can easily make himself popular with strangers. its weird that i find it weird how he can manage to do that.

anyway, what tristan would do is wait. why? because after analyzing the situation, he predicts its only a matter of time before their paths meet again after years of no communication and its not him that will actively do something about it.

if im serious of re-establishing myself, then i must re-adopt the spider philosophy of waiting patiently for something to be caught in the web.

i think i have a spending problem. thats in addition to having vices. crap. i should never own a credit card.

my left toe is still numb. at least partially numb. i think there's something about to go wrong with my eyes. it doesnt really feel well. and my muscle on my left jaw keeps twitching. then i have rashes on my feet and hands. not sure if its caused by stress or something else. and ive been having a lot of pimples lately (face, scalp, and other parts of the human body). then there's my internal organs. i doubt a doctor can help me.

im in pain again. physical pain. crap. i think my organs are really messed up. its not supposed to happen yet but i guess the lifestyle i chose hastened the amount of damage.

im starting to get bored again. the extreme kind. do i have to do everything? well, if you want to get something right, you have to do it yourself. life, you really are a pain in the ass.

i hate you yahoomail! grrr! i dont want you to show me my unread email!!!!

the next time a person asks me whats wrong with me, i will write down on a piece of paper that im suffering from selective mutism coupled with sensory defensiveness because i dont think saying i used to be a tyrant king who spoke and associate only with worthy individuals will work. or maybe a self-absorbed jerk.

am i that bad of a person that i have to endure this shit? what have i done, really?

its a holiday and im working. well, im just your typical really serious guy

i havent posted updates recently. july recap and a bit of june:

went to pampanga last july 2-3.
met up with someone last july 4.
the PCs and my laptop got infected by some unknown malicious program last july 6.
last july 9, met up with OJ to look for a cheap apartment in QC and then went straight to fresca.
went to calamba last july 13-14.
met up with diane to have dinner and a bucket of beer somewhere in xavierville ave (july 15).
had dinner with allelu, erwin, aimee, diane, ten, third, tong and one of their housemates (july 16)
had a 2day workshop in the office conference room (july 17-18)

spent the first half of june looking for work (even attended 2 days of a 3 day job fair: june 12-13), attended a couple of job interviews; received a somewhat significant text message while riding a jeep back to taft coming from rockwell.

weird weather for months...

i attend review classes every weekend. or i try if im not too tired. i review for my removal exam during my spare time. again if im not too tired.

spent the entire day transcribing. a friend asked me if i blog about my work. come to think of it, i have one spare, unused blog address....could use it for that.

i need to update my phonebook and email contacts. problem is synchronizing

i need to reformat this goddamn fucking laptop!!!

it took me a goddamn hour before anything loaded on the browser. i even re-installed the browser and some unknown shit is still interfering with the internet connection

having internet connection problems!!! and its not because of the internet service provider. damn it! i think something infected the laptop thats interfering with the internet connection. i checked the hardware and it seems its working properly. i think i need to reformat. crap.

im finally employed!!! started yesterday, june 23. after weeks of job hunting..

got my pril grade. not good.

sooo tired!!!!

sooo tired of reviewing! submitted my final exam for LTD a while ago. no more summer classes! only review classes left. and i still dont know or im still not sure if i can take the bar this year

got a leaking pipe. and i cant post this on blogger. no internet connection here. crap. - 10:16pm, may 20, 2009, wednesday

im the only one here in the reviewee's room. wow, am i wasting arellano's electricity? im charging my laptop too

finished taking the final exam for ICT around 7pm. finished doing my paper for ICT around 330pm. another final exam next week.

LTD free cut!

i should be doing my paper now.

its exactly one month since my last post in this blog...

nothing much happened. i enrolled in two law classes for the summer (LTD and ICT), enrolled in a bar review, changed my residence from QC to manila (officially moved in on april 28), went to batangas on may 1 for kukay's thanksgiving lunch, had a small toma peeps get together with mark, chelle and diane (may 15...something always happens on the 15th). what else happened? thats pretty much it i guess. 

wednesday: was able to get the cross registration form. started enrolling in arellano. went back to UP. saw allelu, erwin and tong. then went to katipunan to have dinner at diane's place

thursday: finished enrolling in arellano. attended class but the professor didnt show up

friday: reviewed a little in starbucks sm north. attended another class. again the professor didnt show up. went house hunting with jason and his mom

saturday: went to UP only to find out that the library is closed. watched dragonball and it sucked. really sucked. went home. did nothing. 

monday: went to PEP to inquire, had my units evaluated, called some law schools, went home

tuesday: went to arelleno, then UP, then arellano, then clp

just spent 3 days in montalban..from thursday, april 9 to saturday, april 11. was supposed to stay there until april 12, sunday but my brother got sick so we had to head home early. spent those 3 days reflecting and thinking about stuff

thursday last week - april 2: studied pril 

friday april 3: attended the ola turnover...had my pril exam...had dinner with mike and elaine

saturday april 4: slept all day...went online...YM til 5am

sunday april 5: had a really bad ym conversation around 3am...went to the PVO/OLA/Kamao tie up consultation in caloocan...had dinner with diane

monday april 6: stayed home and tried to be productive. tried to stay away from bed

tuesday april 7: went to school to try to do some ola stuff, had lunch with mike, carol, bong, bones and peach...then went to kyusinero with jump and jeff...then went to glorietta with jump to have dinner with mark, leah and kukay

my last blog was last friday! shit. its wednesday already. what have i been doing? crap.

friday: mafia wars all day long

saturday: went to school. had lunch with law school blockmates (leni, allelu, con and diane) after their proj dev exam. then went to deej's place to play mafia wars. had dinner at mcdo katips. went home and played some more mafia wars

sunday: i dont even remember sunday. most probably played some more mafia wars

monday: went to school...slept in the library. probably bugging people. saw grace and erwin in the library studying for their civ exam. then saw diane and con in the slr's room fixing case files. saw allelu in the ola office doing her paper. then saw maricel and bruno in the lounge. then had dinner at good burgers with aimee, con, diane, ten, allelu and erwin. 

tuesday: studied pril. clp. saw gladys in the library studying for her jrev exam

wednesday: studied pril at mcdo katips. walked home. crap. how come i dont remember what happened today...i guess i just studied pril. 

just spent the entire day in my room

just had my corpo exam. was really depressing. sucks. went to the mall to eat dinner. that didnt cheer me up. no good movie to watch and not in the mood to rent. i hate this day

just had my crim law rev exam. then block pic taking. then ola tl and sl meeting. then got stranded in SC for a while because of the rain. then rode a taxi home because of the rain. the song that was playing during the ride were you changed my life in a moment by sarah geronimo and iris by the goo goo dolls. nice, you changed my life in a moment but everything's made to be broken. i guess the previous statement sums up my first four months of the year.

march 22: sunday: had my rem exam frm 8am to 12 noon. finished around 11am. attended mass with gladys, cheska and con. had lunch with gladys, cheska and jason. has crim law rev class. went to gerrys grill libis after. went home to attend my cousin's bday celeb. then went to allelu and con's place to do envi

march 23: monday: did some ola stuff around 9am. then went to mcdo katips to study for corpo. then went to the student lounge to fetch jump to study at coffee bean morato. then went back to the student lounge to fetch mike to study at bk timog. then had dinner at bk timog with jump, mike, maricel and bruno. stupid bk tmog closed around 12 midnight when its supposed to be 24 hrs. went to starbucks morato to ask grace about the 24 hour starbucks at abscbn. saw gladys, dielle and lani studying there with grace. went to starbucks abs after and stayed there until 330am.

march 24: woke around 830am. finished the envi paper. had lunch at taco bell gateway. startedf studying for crim around 330 or 4 at coffee bean gateway. went home around 7pm. i need to sleep

i have an exam tomorrow at 8am. so i spent the entire day studying. started at 9am at bk timog. then moved to mcdo katips around noon. then to coffee bean capitol, with diane and majen around 3pm. around 6 or 7pm, grace arrived. got home around 8pm. slept. tried studying again but too tired already. 

its been one week since i took serious steps to make send tristan to the winlaw ball happen. and exactly a week ago, i was in BK timog. and here i am again in bk timog. haha. it was just a very nice friday the 13th. it wasnt a lucky day but it was nice. exactly a week ago, i started texting people if they can send me to the ball. the day ended with me having an unconfirmed status.

im 5 mins late for a BK croissanwich! damn it! stupid traffic

studied in BK timog from 11am to 530 pm. then went to UP to get my case files. then went to see mike, maricel and bruno in the students lounge to do some ola stuff. then had dinner with bruno and maricel somewhere in maginhawa. then went to starbucks to buy some coffee. saw kate and grace on my way out. now im going to study some more...or do some ola stuff...after facebook

yesterday: had pril then studied in starbucks sm north

yesterday...why am i always making a recap of what happened yesterday...i should be doing this before i sleep...anyway, did the law and envi thing around 1pm, went to bk timog around 4pm and studied there, clp at 8 then bk timog again until 1230

yesterday, monday: after the hearing, went to OLA to do the confi memos. then attended corpo. last class meeting. then went to see deej because she was in SC printing stuff. then went home and slept

just had another uneventful hearing. the prosecution witness did not appear. so much for my last hearing for OLA. wore a suit for crying out loud! i was supposed to do a cross examination. sucks.

thursday: last duty day. took some team pics. hung out in the SLs room with gladys. started the send tristan to the winlaw ball campaign

friday: friday the 13th! tried to study in BK timog. had corpo but before that, dropped by gardinis

saturday: looked for a suit. went to the winlaw ball. hung out with jason and cheska after the ball. stayed in tropical hut until around 3am

today: sunday. did nothing. just slept all day

I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW!!!!

last sunday: i was in an i dont care about the fucking world mode. broke my 2am rule

monday: had pril and corpo

tuesday: went to antipolo rtc with gladys. last class for law and envi. had crim law rev. sfc with erwin, gladys, allelu and her boardmate

today: have corpo and rem law rev. just stayed in bed all day. im really fucked up 

had ola last thursday. hung out for a few hours in the SLs room to finish a RRAf

went to glorietta last friday with jump to get the eheads tickets from mark

went to see the eheads concert last night, saturday, with jason, jump, siblings, cousin and her friend. saw kate. wasnt able to see diane and mark

what did i do today? hmm..well, did some stuff for the PVO fund run, then had pril, then corpo and didnt attend remlawrev, then went to trinoma with deej. and now, i shall sleep since im really, really, tired

went to a doctor, then to antipolo, then went back to UP only to find out there's no law and envi. then had crim. then felt awkward. then attended an SFC thingie with erwin and gladys. and my auto has defective brakes. 

just had pril and corpo. listening to eighties music. very tired. this day is a blur. so much stuff to do

just had ola class component today

had corpo yesterday. met a client in the morning then went to NLRC to submit something to the labor arbiter. went to sleep after i got home. too tired

just watched the bucket list. it was nice

tuesday: law and envi, and crim law rev. client didnt show up

wednesday; had pril, wasnt able to attend corpo because i have a long quiz on rem law rev. was able to meet the client earlier and had her pleading notarized. after the rem law rev quiz, watched a movie with gladys, allelu, con, mike and aimee in trinoma. attended mass with gladys, jason, cheska, mike and allelu earlier. 

thursday: OLA duty. forgot a couple of tasks i was supposed to do. crap. nikki was in UP for lente.

yesterday: went to antipolo rtc to check if there's a tsn already for the feb02 hearing. they said it will be available today. then went to Galing Pook somewhere in UP Village. then went to BK Timog to study. was able to study for only an hour. then went home and was very unproductive.

this life is wearing me out

no ola class component yesterday. just spent the day with kai, maricel and mike at cordillera coffee. then had dinner with diane at mashitta. then talked for a few hours. 

as for today, its my brother's birthday. went to trinoma to have lunch at kenny roger's (without taking a bath). around night time, drove my aunt, "cousin-in-law", her mom, and my cousin to NKI. then drove to KFC to have dinner with my family because its my brother's birthday. spent a few hours of the day watching HIMYM and Naruto Shippuuden with my brother. 

just had corpo. another uneventful day

had a hearin last feb 02. i got so pissed i smoked. 4 reds! and now im not sure if thats the reason why i still have this horrible cough

life has been a blur lately...ive been doing a lot of texting and chatting...an email here and there...then there's the one week no text policy when i was writing my SLR paper....then there's valentine's day...then there's the counsels, and the "incapacitated" judge due to her personal situation...got called for PRIL a couple of times...i think...been cutting class...have a bunch of backlogs for all my subjects...then there's the solid waste management thing...i need to text some clients....and do other OLA stuff....got drunk during desperation night...met jason's cool mother....studied in BK Timog yesterday with kai, maricel and mike...installed windows vista in jump's brand spanking new laptop and downloaded some drivers...no crim law rev for this week...the usual for rem law rev...same for PRIL...planted malunggay and kamote last law and envi class...lani reported on carbon trading...wasnt able to go to class last monday due to the submission of the SLR paper which i half-crammed since it wasnt an all nighter....38 un-awesome pages...or crap...valentine's day wasnt bad...ok, it was nice...just hanging out with friends, both old and new...friday the 13th was nice too...desperation night was spent with jump, jason, mike, erwin and allelu..and jason's mom...we picked up jason in kfc katips...there was trouble in the UP fair during our desperation night...OLA duty was a blur (feb12)...saw ashley at the parking lot...chatted with diane (feb11)...talked to ashley indirectly...there was a mining forum for law and envi (feb 10) and i didnt attend crim law rev for slr making...handed ashley something...got a head's up from jason about her bad day (feb 9)...left her a YM message saying it was a loophole...finally hired jason as my counsel earlier that day...on feb 8, the no text policy was created...effective feb 9 til slr submission...that didnt happen...sort of...cant remember what happened on feb 7...feb 6 i was in the mass comm library doing research...feb 1 to 5 is very much a blur...went out during rem law rev class to text her...that's all i remember...i really should not stop blogging...my memory is just getting worse and i need something like this to remind me of stuff

law and envi report and crim law rev midterms. tiring!

i was on my way to the Antipolo Hall of Justice to go to the PAO. while i was in Katipunan making a right towards Aurora, i suddenly heard that i hit the white pick-up truck on my right. i was like "you gotta be kidding me! 8am on a monday! nice way to start a busy week..." so i went down, looked at the damage, explained to the driver that i was looking at my left side and i wasnt able to check my right. but i added that he should have honked if i was about to hit him. tried to call the attention of traffic enforcers, they ignored me. the driver of the other vehicle said that we should just move to another place since it was a very busy road and were aggravating the traffic flow. he asked for my license and i asked for his to make sure that we both meet up on the other side of the road. when i returned to my van, i noticed the PNP sticker on his windshield. i said to myself "crap. again! really!?" 

when we were on the other side of Aurora, under the flyover, the driver said that he was in a hurry, that he was on his way to Crame and that he wouldnt want to say who he is but he's a police, only that he's not in uniform. so he told me to just pay up. well, i was in a hurry too but i cant give what he's asking for. he then reiterated that he doesnt want to introduce himself and it would really be much better if i just pay up so we wont bother each other anymore. i said i dont have that amount with me at the moment. if he wants we could exchange numbers. he refused. seeing that he wont budge and im really confused how this mishap happened, i offered him a lower amount but not really much different from his initial proposal. he said fine but he will note the plate number of my van. the stupid thing about this mess is that im not even sure if it was my fault! i just assumed that it was. damn it. and i failed to note his plate number. stupid. im not thinking anymore. this is why i dont want to mess the order of things. 

had pril and didnt attend corpo. i have an exam and a report tomorrow.

studied crim law rev all day

thursday: had ola

friday: submitted pleading, had corpo

tried to study crim law rev during free time

had pril, had corpo and had remlawrev

did my formal offer of evidence. still need to polish it. took some pics of trash cans. had law and envi. had crim law rev. had dinner with blockmates

things just went crazy last thursday, jan 15.

the day started well, had ola. was studying for remlawrev when i got home after ola when i received an email that stirred my emotions. crap. wasnt able to focus for two days. wasnt able to go to my friday corpo class. was distracted the entire saturday. 

had remlawrev midterms last sunday which was yesterday. 

today, had pril, got called and then had corpo

had my hearing this morning. things went as expected but not as planned. oh well. try as i might, i wont be able to do anything about it. had pril, had corpo and had rem law review. day started at 8am, it hasnt ended but i got home a little past 10pm. loooooong day. 

had law and envi, then went to HLURB and then had crim law rev

going to have a busy week. aside from being a given a proactive task for law and envi, i have a hearing tomorrow, have to recite for remlawrev, ola duty, midterms on sunday and i have an SLR paper to attend to.

just had a dream involving "charlie's angels". not the ones on tv or the movie but 3 people i know who i secretly refer to as charlie's angels. why? because they're like the personality types of drew barrymore, lucy liu and cameron diaz in the movie charlie's angels. 

anyway, we were at some party and one of the angel's mouth started having some kind of white foam. its like she just ingested some poison or something. 

im bored. life is just so boring

met client. had pril and then had corpo. very uneventful as usual

just got home. had ola class component then went to prof oposa's house in alabang. got lost a little bit.

yesterday: no corpo. had dinner with elaine, mike, diane and chelle

had ola duty. woke up late so i was late by almost an hour. then went to HLURB to do the assigned law and envi stuff. met 2 of my aunts. thats it. 

had pril, had corpo and had remlaw rev. thats it. 

went to megamall to have lunch, then SEC, then CDA, then NLRC then to mcdo banawe ,then cubao, then to mcdo philcoa, then to UP, then walked home. texted clients too 

went to QC city hall to inquire about deputization. learned that i cant be deputized...in QC. if there's a sheriff that would deputize me, it has to be the caloocan sheriff. met my father's cousin too today. then i went to marikina rtc to follow up the status of a case. forgot to make a simple phone call to the nlrc. damn it. then i drafted my direct exam questions for my hearing next week. 

just got back from montalban. good thing we got back earlier than planned. this is the only kind of sudden change of plans i approve of. cant study there.