for days ive been bothered by a simple song that ive been humming in my head. i was familiar with the tune but not with the lyrics. all i knew was it has the word "star" and "put it in your pocket". since its been days, i decided to google it. found out its a song by perry como. no idea where i heard the song. it just came to my head one day and its been pestering me. now that i found out what the song was, the lyrics made me paranoid. wont let life pull another crazy stunt on me. im hiding. i will avoid meeting anyone new except the unavoidable walk in clients.

im sick! just drank ginger tea for my sore throat. going to have a cold. why didnt i get this during the holidays? first work week of the year and im feeling a lot of discomfort.

my self imposed xmas break is over. we dont have a xmas break except for days declared as holidays. but since courts have xmas breaks, i requested that i wont go to the office but just be on call 24/7 for the last two weeks of december. and now that break is over but i still have a lot of non-work stuff to do!!! the goddamn break was no break at all. it was a break from work so i can do non-work stuff. 

i just told myself a few days ago that im not going to drink alcohol anymore because i had a terrible hangover after the xmas party. i really dont listen to what i say because right now, im drunk again. damn it!

twenty seven years and nine days. im twenty seven years and nine days old. and i started it by sitting in front of the hospital where i was born. twenty seven years and nine days ago, i came out of a womb as a skinny little infant. totally clueless that after twenty seven years and nine days, i would be sitting in front of a building where i took my first breathe of air.

i didnt purposely go to the hospital. i was there out of necessity. my sister was very ill and had to be confined and this was the nearest hospital where she can be confined for further observation. i sat inside my ever reliable van i call ___, parking it in front of the hospital. thats how i ended up sitting in front of the hospital where i was born, staring at it for hours. at that time, we didnt know my sister had to be confined so i waited outside. it took hours before the hospital people decided to have her confined for the night.

just had another hectic day. had a "research rush". its that kind of "rush" feeling i get when i need to finish a research in break neck speed. my heart pumps faster (giving the illusion that time slows down for me but in reality, im just moving much faster than i need to), my eyes scan words much quicker and my brain comprehends it with dizzying speed. managed to finish the work in 59 minutes. because i had to. the work was given when it was almost 4pm. once i got back in front of the laptop, its was 4:01 and i timed myself. finished it by the strike of 5pm. i take my "once the clock strikes 5, im outta here" rule seriously (but that doesnt mean im off the hook for the day. work can call me at home).

i also met three clients. i also had phone in questions seeking legal advice. i felt like a doctor of sorts where i would tell my officemate to send the client to my room once im ready to speak with him or her. then i ask what's the problem and then i make an assessment. if i cant do it, i would say i need to consult the associate. and to think this is a typical day for most associates working in big law firms. i think.   

just got home. im really tired. need to wake up early tomorrow to study a case. im going to need coffee.

earthquake!!!!

im not feeling well. feeling nauseous since 4pm today.

i went to two interviews last week for two law firms. im now waiting for a third law firm to schedule an interview. im really hoping to get hired in another law firm. but at the same time, i dont mind if end up staying with my current law office.

the thing about work is that it helps in making days go by. its a meaningful distraction that makes time less burdensome in a way.

dream recall: (dream recall entries should be posted in another blog but i inadvertently transformed that blog into a "bookmark" blog. posting it now would make the entry look out of place)

dreamt of getting married. again! in my last dream i said that there must have been some good deal behind the marriage. the bride was pretty but she wasnt my type. this time, i was set to get married to two different people. one in the morning and one in the afternoon. as usual, in my dream, i really dont want to get married but for some reason im bound by something to do it. and i was thinking very hard how i can escape being charged with bigamy. and how im going to pull off the two marriages. didnt get to attend the second marriage since i woke up already. didnt even finish the first one. actually, i didnt even finish the other one too. i wake up the moment i see the bride walking towards me.

just threw my retractable mouse against the wall. it broke into pieces. naturally. and its all because i got pissed with the slow internet connection. losing my temper would be understandable if i had a stressful day at work but that wasnt the case.

note to self: avoid getting addicted to "illegal" drugs.

i have a hearing in a few hours. i need to wake up early to review the case file. still got the usual headache. and i forgot to look for the missing key.

in addition to doing some legal research work, cleaning a pair of shoes, reading a book and learning the katakana, i have to include searching for a missing key to the stuff im going to do...when i wake up in a few hours. just found out one my keys in my key chain is missing. dont know when it went missing (or how it went missing) since its been weeks since i last used the missing key. crap. where the hell will i start looking for a missing key?! i just washed my bag earlier yesterday! it cant be in my bag. well, it shouldnt be there even if my place my key chain there. damn it!!!!  i need to forget about it for a while so i can sleep. 

this is the second night of having a headache. i wonder if i should have my blood viscosity checked? its also been a couple of days since i woke up with a numb right arm. and my kidney area on both sides have been feeling a bit painful for three days now. damn it. just earlier this week, i damaged my throat because i coughed too hard one night. i should start strengthening my physical self soon.

i need to look for more law offices. i submitted my resume to three offices and still no calls. well, its only three. i should start to look for more law offices. my officemate joked that i could submit my resume to the law offices handling the opposing parties' case the pleadings that im making. well, if i become desperate, i might really try it.



ever since i started my temp work, ive done a handful of legal research, appeared for a hearing that im absolutely not prepared for. i was only informed about it around 8am that we dont have a lawyer that could attend the 8:30 hearing. so i had less than 30 minutes to prepare. not prepare for the case but prepare to get out of bed and find my barong. so i rushed to the trial court to make an appearance and inform the court that we are not prepared and explain why. unfortunately, the judge didnt find the reason satisfactory and ordered that the case should proceed. crap. anyway, the judge decided that the fiscal should do the lawyer work since im not qualified yet nor prepared to do it. i dont even have the case file with me!

also attended a labor case. so far that's work. im getting old and underpaid. at least im getting good exposure to a well rounded legal work.

hired! sort of. just finished my first day of work.

one full week since the last bar exam sunday and im still having dreams about the bar exams. the other day i dreamt there was a fifth bar sunday. and earlier today, i dreamt that i wasnt able to write my name on my booklet.

went to solgen this morning to submit my resume. tried to re-learn hiragana and read a book about philippine-japan relations. bought the book back in college and never read it. i dont remember why i bought it in the first place.

not feeling well. i think im going to be sick. i have a headache and my throat hurts. at least the bar exams are over.