i think its time to have my eyes checked

not feeling well. i really feel dizzy. very dizzy. damn it. and i was thinking earlier whether to buy pizza or a hotdog sandwich after i leave work. i dont think i can enjoy it given that i feel like throwing up.

very tiring day. had a lunch meeting with Senator Pimentel and Atty. Romulo Macalintal earlier today in preparation for the SC oral arguments next tuesday. in addition to that, i need to drop by the PAO office in relation to the murder case im handling, review a city ordinance to prepare a legal memo and review an expropriation case that started way back in the sixties. and the decision for the election protest case im handling is due next week.

went to cavite yesterday to go to my cousin's wake. first time i saw him and unfortunately, he's inside a coffin. also learned that i was baptized in a hospital (i was confined in the hospital due to lobar pneumonia). my parents decided to have me baptized because i was always severely ill as a baby. if we only had a tradition similar to the korean Doljanchi, my parents probably threw a big celebration when i reached my first birthday.

i think im going to bed early tonight. im starting to not feel well again. i hope this wont lead to another set of lab tests.

watched the 2nd installment of the last Harry Potter movie today. its nothing compared to the book. but its not a bad film adaptation. i guess.

bought 2 pairs of denim pants yesterday. i was supposed to buy a new pair of shoes too but there were too many people because of the mall wide sale. i didnt benefit from the mall sale because the items on sale dont cover my size. im better off buying my stuff during regular mall days.

not feeling well again. i just got well earlier today. crap. seriously? i already had myself checked almost two weeks ago and the x-ray didnt show anything wrong. the same thing for my ultrasound and other lab tests. i dont want to buy anymore meds! there's going to be a mall wide sale this weekend and i need to buy a new pair of jeans and leather shoes.

paid some bills and had a kko kko tour marathon. lost a few pounds because of my illness so im trying to gain it back. i will have to eat more often.

called in sick today. got a high fever but i still did some work during the morning. ive been taking meds for my other illnesses so i have no idea what's the origin of this fever. i need to get rid of this fever by tomorrow. ive got lots of stuff to do plus a lunch meeting.

despite my very weak condition, i continue to work. just a few more days and then i will be able to really rest without much worries. just hold on a little longer physical self. if life can be a little nicer, the workload will be very manageable by next week and physical self can get some rest to recover.

very tiring day. at least today, its not because of work. spent the morning getting some lab tests and received a prescription for some expensive medication. watched Transformers 3 during the afternoon and then bought some stuff at the mall. got home around 8. tomorrow, i resume work and start a week long medication for one of my ailments.

im too busy and tired to care. makes me thankful that i can still get enough time to sleep. not a good night sleep though due to some pain ive been having for weeks but its still sleep nonetheless.

just got home from work. crap. i have a hearing tomorrow. im too tired to prepare. i guess i will just have to wake up really, really early.

very productive day today. managed to do a lot of work. yet not enough to finish everything. i hope i continue this hardworker mode until the end of the week.

at the end of the day, i just want to relax but its the middle of the week so its kinda impossible. the fact that Mcdonald's Matalino is still closed makes matters worse. i dont have a "happy place". there's no good alternative place where i can get my morning coffee before i go to my court hearings. i miss my morning cup of coffee before i go to work.

the internet is starting to get boring too. im no longer hooked on facebook. i only check my emails because of force of habit. the only thing i have left are my PS3 and my soshi addiction.

im seriously not feeling well.

im not feeling well. i think its psychosomatic. coincidentally, im listening to prodigy's breathe.

i think there's something wrong with my back. nothing seriously wrong. not yet. but certainly, there's something wrong

my lower back's been hurting since this morning. weird thing about it is, one of the cases ive scheduled to review and assess today involves a client who suffered from a lower back injury. of course my back pain is nothing compared to his. he suffered from a lower back injury due to heavy labor given the nature of his work. i think my back pain is my body's way of trying to symphathize with the client.

much as i want to be a hardworking person and be a workaholic, im having difficulties. the most i can be right now is be a laid back person. thats better than being just plain lazy. at least i get things done. but still its unacceptable given my pace of learning the tricks of the trade.

i started thinking, how come i cant use my "workaholic mode"? i really need it. especially right now that i have court hearings for three straight weeks (average of four hearings per week). being laid back is just good enough to make sure i get something done. but its really not a job well done. its probably good enough but obviously lacking stuff. or maybe not good enough at all. there's just some output. plain and simple.

im laid back in a sense, i sleep in my office room to rest. when im tired, i stop working. of course, i only stop when i can afford to stop, meaning no deadlines. but on the inside, i get occasional panic attacks when my brain starts to give me the "big picture" or the amount of work to be done.

i need to do something about this.