no women, no weed, no alcohol. crap. it feels im back in june 2013. well, at least i can still have weed. or still have sex and booze at my own risk. wait...since when did i learn about caring for anything? fuck this.

im not heartbroken! dammit! no one can be heartbroken for almost a year. God, You really know how to piss me off. that was a dirty trick

that annoying moment when you realize that the feeling is very much alive. damn it. i better not have those kind of dreams again. i dont want sleepless nights because of some fear from seeing something i refuse to see.

im not sad. im just pensive. im just going to "enjoy" the remaining months.

so my blood sugar, cholesterol count, hemoglobin levels and uric acid levels are high. but someone said im going to live until i get fucking alzheimers. well, God, im holding You accountable for Your actions. we won't be here if not for Your alleged mysterious but are actually senseless and whimsical ways.

remember...dont make major decisions when youre angry. meh. fuck it