why do i regret holding on to the people i chose to hold on to? theyre the logical choice. rational choice. why do things continue to fall apart? isnt it possible to, even for a moment, feel that i made the right decision? just a goddamn moment. to at least see that the choice i made was worth it. that walking away was the right thing to fucking do. i knew im going to regret my decision to stop the most meaningful yet confusing pursuit. didnt expect that it also meant that the people i chose to hold on to wouldnt be worth it.

im inclined to believe there’s such a thing as coincidence. if there was none...God, You’re a [expletives deleted]. bitch faced bastard.

if im being taught a lesson for being arrogant and reckless, why dont You come down here so i can break Your neck. i dont like being the subject of sick jokes you crazy fuck

it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. it shouldnt have happened in the first place. God, you sick fuck.

im sorry. i really am. im tired and drained. may mga bagay na hindi pwede sabihin. mga paliwanag na di maririnig. so universe, you sick fuck, leave me alone. tangina! obvious naman na di na pwede bawiin ginawa ko kaya tantanan mo na ko. putangina naman. matino naman ginagawa ko sa buhay ko. bakit ayaw mo pa tumigil? kahit kailan, hindi ako maniniwala sa pinagpipilitan mo. ginagago mo lang ako. pota!