damn it. i think the booze and weed is starting to mess me up. can a daily buzz really kill that much brain cells? fuck. imma need some uppers. if i have lost all awareness of what im doing and where im going, at least...meh. all i want is one great final adventure before everything falls apart. or at least make me feel and believe im having one even if its...meh. i dont care anymore. fuck this shit. whatever happens, happens. i dont like anything anyway.